Yes. I forgot about this blog.
Moving on.
I have to tell you about some awesome-ness that has been going on. Mostly scary, but also thrilling...like some twisted version of reality that I could never begin to understand. First off, senior year is indicative of many things (getting a "grown-up job", getting to wear a funny hat, and panicking at your looming debt) but at a music conservatory, the one thing that tops the list is the senior recital. Whoa. Scary. At least for me anyway. Some chill people might be saying "What? An hour of music to perform in front of family, friends, and my professors? Memorized? No problem!" I, however, am (was) squarely in the panic mode situation. Until (drumrolllll for dramatic effect please) I finished my rep ahead of schedule. AND I'm doing the "Revolutionary Etude" by Chopin, which in layman's terms is as very hard piece of music Chopin wrote to be both beautiful and a torture device for the left hand. But no worries! It may be at a tempo reminiscent of a snail tiptoeing through molasses, but it'll be ready in time. Not bad for someone whose teacher wasn't sure if said piece was even possible.
Also. I'm going to be a full fledged teacher in less than a year. This time next year, I will (positive, job getting thoughts please!) be getting my adorable little angels (here's to hoping!) ready for their holiday concert. WHAT. That's some ridiculous crazy talk. Then comes the scary. Me? A teacher? Similar to every other "adventure" (except this is real life) I'll just have to go for it. No sense in living otherwise! Plus, I really love it. For me, teaching is the same as someone stepping on a stage or going into the World Series (if the Phillies actually made it to the World Series that is...sore subject. Don't like to talk about it) Joy and terror, all at the same time, followed by exuberance and passion and exhaustion.
Right now I'm watching the Santa Claus 1, indulging in my unnatural enthusiasm for all things Christmas and Disney. Don't know why that was important, just thought I'd mention. Who needs Halloween and Thanksgiving? Let's get right to decking the halls! Plus, my recital will be over by then....CELEBRATE.
Oh! In other life news, I'm now an organist. Who knew? I didn't! I'm hoping the congregation doesn't quite realize that either...
So this is just a random post of some entirely too random things. Or maybe there is a theme. Not totally sure...I'm sick right now (not "cool" sick, but phlegm-filled throat sore plague sick...) Either way, this might turn out to be my bringing forth a renaissance for this blog or it will be a random post amidst months of nothing-ness. Regardless, thanks for reading (or skimming, or just pretending).
Friday, October 14, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
The "S" Word
SUCCESS.
It's what everyone wants but never seems to say they have. Why is that?
Let's take a closer look, shall we.
What defines success? {insert dictionary entry here}
Everywhere today we see images of success reminding us helpless common folk that we aren't doing well enough. A half-hour rerun provides enough well placed advertising to convince me that I am too fat, not pretty, don't have enough money, not liked, and that I will remain single the rest of my life just so I can hold out for that dashing fellow with wavy hair and perfect smile.
After every performance, I immediately re-examine every detail to determine if I was successful. Was I good? Did I miss a note....or ten? What was the audience thinking? Did I look okay? Are they judging me? On. and on. and on. The minute that I stop performing (regardless of the medium), I imagine a little switch in my brain going off and the wave of self deprecating thoughts begins.
The same inevitably happened on Sunday. I was singing at the wedding of two dear friends at church. I was excited and honored to be singing for them. The vast majority of the piece went really well. I had spent ample time warming up, I was confident, everything was really clear...I could sense good things were happening.
Then, heading into the last section, I kind of lost it. Now, the wheels didn't fall off the car, but they certainly skidded. I was able to find my way back, but it certainly didn't go unnoticed.
I knew I sang okay (by my limited standards....), but it still wasn't good enough for me. Now do I always know for sure what sounds good in my voice and what doesn't? Absolutely not. I even started apologizing to people for my performance, which is absolutely ridiculous now that I think about it.
Was I successful? Was it perfect? Or just good enough?
No, it wasn't perfect. But perfect and successful aren't the same thing. First of all, no one can be "perfect". Second, I would think that things that are perfect aren't always successful.I can't think of a good example right now, but give me time. It'll come.....
Success can be measured by how you impact those around you. The look on the bride's face that morning was all I needed to see to know that I was successful.
Though I imagine it will take an insane amount of mental power, I'm going to try and apply this to many areas in my life. As much as it may seem to "help" at the time, negativity feeds negative action, which leads to more self deprecation. Picture the Wile E. Coyote falling off a cliff and then getting flattened by an anvil, which then explodes. Not the desired result, obviously.
Here is my challenge to you: in everything you do today, find your successes. Acknowledge them, celebrate them, and then expand upon them. Keep growing, keep learning, and see how you are successful. Then, let me know how it goes!
It's what everyone wants but never seems to say they have. Why is that?
Let's take a closer look, shall we.
What defines success? {insert dictionary entry here}
Everywhere today we see images of success reminding us helpless common folk that we aren't doing well enough. A half-hour rerun provides enough well placed advertising to convince me that I am too fat, not pretty, don't have enough money, not liked, and that I will remain single the rest of my life just so I can hold out for that dashing fellow with wavy hair and perfect smile.
After every performance, I immediately re-examine every detail to determine if I was successful. Was I good? Did I miss a note....or ten? What was the audience thinking? Did I look okay? Are they judging me? On. and on. and on. The minute that I stop performing (regardless of the medium), I imagine a little switch in my brain going off and the wave of self deprecating thoughts begins.
The same inevitably happened on Sunday. I was singing at the wedding of two dear friends at church. I was excited and honored to be singing for them. The vast majority of the piece went really well. I had spent ample time warming up, I was confident, everything was really clear...I could sense good things were happening.
Then, heading into the last section, I kind of lost it. Now, the wheels didn't fall off the car, but they certainly skidded. I was able to find my way back, but it certainly didn't go unnoticed.
I knew I sang okay (by my limited standards....), but it still wasn't good enough for me. Now do I always know for sure what sounds good in my voice and what doesn't? Absolutely not. I even started apologizing to people for my performance, which is absolutely ridiculous now that I think about it.
Was I successful? Was it perfect? Or just good enough?
No, it wasn't perfect. But perfect and successful aren't the same thing. First of all, no one can be "perfect". Second, I would think that things that are perfect aren't always successful.I can't think of a good example right now, but give me time. It'll come.....
Success can be measured by how you impact those around you. The look on the bride's face that morning was all I needed to see to know that I was successful.
Though I imagine it will take an insane amount of mental power, I'm going to try and apply this to many areas in my life. As much as it may seem to "help" at the time, negativity feeds negative action, which leads to more self deprecation. Picture the Wile E. Coyote falling off a cliff and then getting flattened by an anvil, which then explodes. Not the desired result, obviously.
Here is my challenge to you: in everything you do today, find your successes. Acknowledge them, celebrate them, and then expand upon them. Keep growing, keep learning, and see how you are successful. Then, let me know how it goes!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Welcome summer!!
I know what you're thinking. Lauren, it's been a month since you've last posted? Have you thrown in the towel?
Nope. On the contrary, I've been having a rather ravishing time.
Current event of the evening? I just watched the Phillies roll into the 13th inning with a 4-4 tie against the Reds.
Watch out. It's getting intense.
Classes ended a little over a month ago and finals and things were completely finished a couple of weeks ago. Insert time. And more time. And more time. What do I do with this? I've forgotten!!!
(Seriously, this game is getting ridiculous. Some guy on the Reds just took out his anger on an unsuspecting cooler of Gatorade. Hope no one was thirsty.....)
With the end of classes comes that most joyous season of summer. No classes, no homework, no tests, and... no choir rehearsal. (Did I just say that?) It is certainly strange getting used to a schedule where I may only have 5 different things to do in one day as opposed to 5000. 'Superhuman Lauren' has been sent away on vacation for the next few months!
And don't think that I've been merely watching the grass grow (and grow and grow and grow). In fact, I'm in the middle of my first paying theater job! I'm the pianist for a production of Cabaret. I'm really loving my time with the cast! Tell you what, my attitude today is a lot different than a few months ago. I was terrified. Mailman getting chased by Fido, down a volcano, while erupting, terrified. I was so worried that I wasn't going to be able to play, able to lead a pit band, that the cast wasn't going to like me, that I was going to screw up so bad it'll bring a new meaning to the term 'mittens'.....on and on. In fact, though it was a bumpy transition for the first few days, I think everything is going along well! It's also been interesting just watching rehearsals from a different perspective. I'm certainly learning a lot!
Other than Cabaret, I've been practicing, exercising, playing, laughing, reading, watching, and all around having a great time! This is what summer is for, isn't it?
My plans for the summer are really up in the air. I wasn't able to find a softball league to join =( That made me a tad sad. I'm definitely planning some NH trips which will be awesome. I do plan on going on more auditions, so I'll keep you posted on that!
My newest wacky idea: skydiving! Not kidding. Yes, I think I'd eventually have to be literally pushed out of the plane, but I think it would be absolutely amazing....and totally representative of my attitude the last few months!
Running wise, I've made huge strides! I found this amazing trail near my apartment. The first time I headed out, I power walked out 3.5 miles or so and then ran/walked every other half mile on the way back. It took me about 2 1/2 hours to do the whole thing. Then, the second time, I ran/walked every half mile both ways. Only 1 1/2 hours! I cut my time by an hour AND decreased my mile time significantly!!! It feels so awesome to feel so free! (Plus, the endorphins aren't so bad either!) Due to the recent week long rain shower, I've been spending more time using cardio videos instead of running. Let me tell you: Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred, level 1. Not for the weak. My calves will punish me tomorrow....
15th inning. Nothing yet. Phils better get it on soon!
Good night!!!
Much love,
Lauren
PS. Message me if you want to come see the show! The first 3 weeks of June!
PSS. Cabaret is not for kids. Duh.
Nope. On the contrary, I've been having a rather ravishing time.
Current event of the evening? I just watched the Phillies roll into the 13th inning with a 4-4 tie against the Reds.
Watch out. It's getting intense.
Classes ended a little over a month ago and finals and things were completely finished a couple of weeks ago. Insert time. And more time. And more time. What do I do with this? I've forgotten!!!
(Seriously, this game is getting ridiculous. Some guy on the Reds just took out his anger on an unsuspecting cooler of Gatorade. Hope no one was thirsty.....)
With the end of classes comes that most joyous season of summer. No classes, no homework, no tests, and... no choir rehearsal. (Did I just say that?) It is certainly strange getting used to a schedule where I may only have 5 different things to do in one day as opposed to 5000. 'Superhuman Lauren' has been sent away on vacation for the next few months!
And don't think that I've been merely watching the grass grow (and grow and grow and grow). In fact, I'm in the middle of my first paying theater job! I'm the pianist for a production of Cabaret. I'm really loving my time with the cast! Tell you what, my attitude today is a lot different than a few months ago. I was terrified. Mailman getting chased by Fido, down a volcano, while erupting, terrified. I was so worried that I wasn't going to be able to play, able to lead a pit band, that the cast wasn't going to like me, that I was going to screw up so bad it'll bring a new meaning to the term 'mittens'.....on and on. In fact, though it was a bumpy transition for the first few days, I think everything is going along well! It's also been interesting just watching rehearsals from a different perspective. I'm certainly learning a lot!
Other than Cabaret, I've been practicing, exercising, playing, laughing, reading, watching, and all around having a great time! This is what summer is for, isn't it?
My plans for the summer are really up in the air. I wasn't able to find a softball league to join =( That made me a tad sad. I'm definitely planning some NH trips which will be awesome. I do plan on going on more auditions, so I'll keep you posted on that!
My newest wacky idea: skydiving! Not kidding. Yes, I think I'd eventually have to be literally pushed out of the plane, but I think it would be absolutely amazing....and totally representative of my attitude the last few months!
Running wise, I've made huge strides! I found this amazing trail near my apartment. The first time I headed out, I power walked out 3.5 miles or so and then ran/walked every other half mile on the way back. It took me about 2 1/2 hours to do the whole thing. Then, the second time, I ran/walked every half mile both ways. Only 1 1/2 hours! I cut my time by an hour AND decreased my mile time significantly!!! It feels so awesome to feel so free! (Plus, the endorphins aren't so bad either!) Due to the recent week long rain shower, I've been spending more time using cardio videos instead of running. Let me tell you: Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred, level 1. Not for the weak. My calves will punish me tomorrow....
15th inning. Nothing yet. Phils better get it on soon!
Good night!!!
Much love,
Lauren
PS. Message me if you want to come see the show! The first 3 weeks of June!
PSS. Cabaret is not for kids. Duh.
Friday, April 22, 2011
a ridiculously long story about a ridiculously long (and amazing) day
Okay. For starters, as you read this awesomely amazing story, you have to imagine me telling you with a big goofy grin on my face...since that's how the "live" version tends to go!
I've sort of created a new mantra for myself...."You never achieve what you never try." Having this mindset really makes everything seem so much more exciting. Being free from fear to try new things is an amazing feeling!!
In that spirit, last Tuesday I decided to take a trip to NYC....and audition for the My Fair Lady national tour!! Now, this may not seem like a big deal to those who are old hats at auditioning for shows and the like, but for me, it was truly an adventure! And I LOVED it!
The day started dark and early at 4:15 am, before the birds and the sun. I was out the door by 4:45 and on the train by 5:20....in NYC a little after 6. Then the fun begins!
I went wearing my dress for the audition. I wasn't sure if you take your audition clothes with you and change (turns out, you can!) I've had problems in the past with the seams on this dress. It's very delicate and they separate easy...too easy in my opinion. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that two of the seams had separated about two thirds down the back of the dress!! It had gone through our new washer which I forgot is more than rough on the clothes. So I realize that I'm apparently at risk of flashing the commuting population of NYC.....
This adventure is really getting off to great start, isn't it??? Luckily, it gets infinitely better.
By a stroke of genius the night before, I had packed a change of clothes. So I walk....carefully...to a bathroom in Penn Station and change. Then, I went out towards 8th avenue and traipsed across the street to the drugstore and bought a sewing kit. Back into Penn Station to find a spot to chill out while I stitch up the dress. Now, you should know that I do not consider myself "Suzy homemaker" at all and I've no idea how to sew a button let alone two seams on the back of a beautiful dress. I got it so that the dress didn't come apart....and we'll leave it at that.
Back to the bathroom to change back into the dress. Try #2 to leave Penn Station was a success! I headed towards the studio on 54th....all the while looking for a place to hop on the internet and print my resume which I hadn't been able to get the night before. I know that there are at least two Staples within walking distance, and I head to one. Closed. Darn. Next Staples. Open. Yay! But, of course they don't have the capability to print from the internet. What to do...what to do........
In a moment of desperation, I went into a Hilton off of Broadway. I ask the woman at the desk if she knows where I can print.....she says, right upstairs!! Awesome!! I'm nearly giddy at this point. I paid $11 to spend 10 minutes on the internet and print one sheet of paper...ridiculous...but worth it!
So at this point, it is about 7:30. I've ridden into the city, sewed a dress, walked and searched, printed, and used the gorgeous Hilton bathroom......and now I'm ready to go to the studio!
At this point, I wasn't far from 54th. It took about 5 minutes or so to get to the studio. I knew exactly where it was...there were about 30-40 people lined up outside. Trying to hide my utter joy and excitement at even making it to the right place, I jumped in line. This was my fatal flaw. I didn't notice that there was a sign up sheet at the head of the line. Dun dun dun.
In my blissful ignorance, I stood outside for about an hour before we were let in the studio. I got a seat in the waiting room and then noticed that sign up sheet sitting on a table. By the time I got to it, I was #210...out of what would become almost 300.......... oh well. I'm still there!
The moderator comes in and says that they are honoring the list. The casting team will hear about 30-40 people per hour and if you are after #150, to come back after lunch. Free pass to walk around midtown? Okay!!!!!!
I went and changed into jeans (noticed that I'd have to restitch one of the seams of the dress a bit......) and headed out! I had the most wonderful time! I wandered around Times Square and Broadway, just exploring! It can be really fun to go somewhere like this by yourself because you can do whatever you want, when you want! I went to a cafe and had an omelet for breakfast, did the customary Starbucks run for Earl Gray (delicious!), and generally had a marvelous time. I sent pictures to my Mom and Dad of the sights...apparently I'd even forgotten to tell them that I was going. Surprise : )
After awhile, it started to rain a bit heavier (it had been spritzing a bit) so I saw a great spot inside a Micky D's and sat on a stool by the window and just read. It was wonderful!
I love people watching (no..not in the creepy I'm going to stalk you kind of way) It's amazing the kinds of things you can see. I was truly touched. Towards the corner of the street I was looking at, I saw a homeless man sitting and asking for money. I watched many people walk by and not give him a glance. I'm not saying that I would be any better, but it was such a different perspective. At one point, a man and woman came by and gave him a package. It looked like a food package. He thanked them and it was only after they had walked a distance away that he opened it. The smile on his face. It will be hard to forget.
After getting a grilled chicken sandwich for lunch, I meandered my way back to the studio. Once I got there, I took my time stitching the dress. I had done it so hastily earlier, I realized I hadn't properly knotted both ends and it was pulling apart. After about 2 hours of sewing, reading, chatting, and what not, I put on make-up, starting doing some quiet vocal things to get warmed up and got ready to audition!!! After a bit, the moderator announced that the team wanted to make sure they were able to hear everyone that day, so the audition was being cut to only 8 bars. I grabbed my music and mentally got ready to start at the climax of a phrase, bring it to the end, and make it actually mean something!
A little after 4, the guy announced that numbers 200-210 could line up outside the room. I was about to audition. In NYC. For a casting team of a real production. Seriously?!?! I'M doing this???
I went in and was greeted with very cheery smiles. After a long day like they must have had, I'm very impressed and grateful. Before I sang, the woman wanted to let me know that in my haste, I had stapled my resume and head shot backwards....of course I did! HaHaHa! She didn't seem to care; in fact, I'm sure it was incredibly amusing. I sang my 8 bars of "I can cook, too", thanked them, and walked out more elated that I could have ever imagined. I had just done something I never thought I could ever do! It was amazing and thrilling!!!!
I went and changed and then practically ran out of the studio and danced down the street! I headed over the Gershwin to see if I could get into the lottery for Wicked tickets, but I was about 20 minutes too late. So, without nothing else to do, I went back to Penn Station and got a train home. I was back in time for bible study at 8. Still smiley. Still giddy. Still amazed at what I'd just done. The sky is the limit!!!
I left for NYC around 5 and was back around 7:30. 14 and a half hours of pure joy. Getting a role wasn't ever the goal. I wanted to first prove to myself that I could even attempt the impossible. Me, a music education major who always plays piano and colors in the lines, auditioned in New York for a major casting and production team. It's literally a dream in the making. And I'll tell you one thing...I'm doing it again!
I've sort of created a new mantra for myself...."You never achieve what you never try." Having this mindset really makes everything seem so much more exciting. Being free from fear to try new things is an amazing feeling!!
In that spirit, last Tuesday I decided to take a trip to NYC....and audition for the My Fair Lady national tour!! Now, this may not seem like a big deal to those who are old hats at auditioning for shows and the like, but for me, it was truly an adventure! And I LOVED it!
The day started dark and early at 4:15 am, before the birds and the sun. I was out the door by 4:45 and on the train by 5:20....in NYC a little after 6. Then the fun begins!
I went wearing my dress for the audition. I wasn't sure if you take your audition clothes with you and change (turns out, you can!) I've had problems in the past with the seams on this dress. It's very delicate and they separate easy...too easy in my opinion. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that two of the seams had separated about two thirds down the back of the dress!! It had gone through our new washer which I forgot is more than rough on the clothes. So I realize that I'm apparently at risk of flashing the commuting population of NYC.....
This adventure is really getting off to great start, isn't it??? Luckily, it gets infinitely better.
By a stroke of genius the night before, I had packed a change of clothes. So I walk....carefully...to a bathroom in Penn Station and change. Then, I went out towards 8th avenue and traipsed across the street to the drugstore and bought a sewing kit. Back into Penn Station to find a spot to chill out while I stitch up the dress. Now, you should know that I do not consider myself "Suzy homemaker" at all and I've no idea how to sew a button let alone two seams on the back of a beautiful dress. I got it so that the dress didn't come apart....and we'll leave it at that.
Back to the bathroom to change back into the dress. Try #2 to leave Penn Station was a success! I headed towards the studio on 54th....all the while looking for a place to hop on the internet and print my resume which I hadn't been able to get the night before. I know that there are at least two Staples within walking distance, and I head to one. Closed. Darn. Next Staples. Open. Yay! But, of course they don't have the capability to print from the internet. What to do...what to do........
In a moment of desperation, I went into a Hilton off of Broadway. I ask the woman at the desk if she knows where I can print.....she says, right upstairs!! Awesome!! I'm nearly giddy at this point. I paid $11 to spend 10 minutes on the internet and print one sheet of paper...ridiculous...but worth it!
So at this point, it is about 7:30. I've ridden into the city, sewed a dress, walked and searched, printed, and used the gorgeous Hilton bathroom......and now I'm ready to go to the studio!
At this point, I wasn't far from 54th. It took about 5 minutes or so to get to the studio. I knew exactly where it was...there were about 30-40 people lined up outside. Trying to hide my utter joy and excitement at even making it to the right place, I jumped in line. This was my fatal flaw. I didn't notice that there was a sign up sheet at the head of the line. Dun dun dun.
In my blissful ignorance, I stood outside for about an hour before we were let in the studio. I got a seat in the waiting room and then noticed that sign up sheet sitting on a table. By the time I got to it, I was #210...out of what would become almost 300.......... oh well. I'm still there!
The moderator comes in and says that they are honoring the list. The casting team will hear about 30-40 people per hour and if you are after #150, to come back after lunch. Free pass to walk around midtown? Okay!!!!!!
I went and changed into jeans (noticed that I'd have to restitch one of the seams of the dress a bit......) and headed out! I had the most wonderful time! I wandered around Times Square and Broadway, just exploring! It can be really fun to go somewhere like this by yourself because you can do whatever you want, when you want! I went to a cafe and had an omelet for breakfast, did the customary Starbucks run for Earl Gray (delicious!), and generally had a marvelous time. I sent pictures to my Mom and Dad of the sights...apparently I'd even forgotten to tell them that I was going. Surprise : )
After awhile, it started to rain a bit heavier (it had been spritzing a bit) so I saw a great spot inside a Micky D's and sat on a stool by the window and just read. It was wonderful!
I love people watching (no..not in the creepy I'm going to stalk you kind of way) It's amazing the kinds of things you can see. I was truly touched. Towards the corner of the street I was looking at, I saw a homeless man sitting and asking for money. I watched many people walk by and not give him a glance. I'm not saying that I would be any better, but it was such a different perspective. At one point, a man and woman came by and gave him a package. It looked like a food package. He thanked them and it was only after they had walked a distance away that he opened it. The smile on his face. It will be hard to forget.
After getting a grilled chicken sandwich for lunch, I meandered my way back to the studio. Once I got there, I took my time stitching the dress. I had done it so hastily earlier, I realized I hadn't properly knotted both ends and it was pulling apart. After about 2 hours of sewing, reading, chatting, and what not, I put on make-up, starting doing some quiet vocal things to get warmed up and got ready to audition!!! After a bit, the moderator announced that the team wanted to make sure they were able to hear everyone that day, so the audition was being cut to only 8 bars. I grabbed my music and mentally got ready to start at the climax of a phrase, bring it to the end, and make it actually mean something!
A little after 4, the guy announced that numbers 200-210 could line up outside the room. I was about to audition. In NYC. For a casting team of a real production. Seriously?!?! I'M doing this???
I went in and was greeted with very cheery smiles. After a long day like they must have had, I'm very impressed and grateful. Before I sang, the woman wanted to let me know that in my haste, I had stapled my resume and head shot backwards....of course I did! HaHaHa! She didn't seem to care; in fact, I'm sure it was incredibly amusing. I sang my 8 bars of "I can cook, too", thanked them, and walked out more elated that I could have ever imagined. I had just done something I never thought I could ever do! It was amazing and thrilling!!!!
I went and changed and then practically ran out of the studio and danced down the street! I headed over the Gershwin to see if I could get into the lottery for Wicked tickets, but I was about 20 minutes too late. So, without nothing else to do, I went back to Penn Station and got a train home. I was back in time for bible study at 8. Still smiley. Still giddy. Still amazed at what I'd just done. The sky is the limit!!!
I left for NYC around 5 and was back around 7:30. 14 and a half hours of pure joy. Getting a role wasn't ever the goal. I wanted to first prove to myself that I could even attempt the impossible. Me, a music education major who always plays piano and colors in the lines, auditioned in New York for a major casting and production team. It's literally a dream in the making. And I'll tell you one thing...I'm doing it again!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Coming up next!!
It has been an exciting weekend! First, Symphonic choir did an absolutely fabulous performance of Carmina Burana. There was such an energy on stage. There are some moments when you are in a choir that you can't possibly stand it anymore. You do not want to sing the music, look at the conductor, or fight through the rehearsals for one more minute. Then, there are moments that make you more grateful for music than you have felt in years. Last night was one of those times. Singing with such talented musicians makes me grateful for music in my life and only heightens my desire to share it more!
Next on my exciting list of wonderful happenings: Come September I will be what my father always hoped I'd be--- a nun!!! I'll be in the production of the Sound of Music at the Open Air Theater of Downtown Performing Arts Center.
I've also made a decision about the summer. No full time job, but I'll be doing odd work here and there, focusing on piano for my recital, getting more in depth with singing and learning repertoire, and having as many adventures as I can!!! I foresee softball, golf, rock climbing, trips to NY and NH, and many other fun happenings!!!
Next on my exciting list of wonderful happenings: Come September I will be what my father always hoped I'd be--- a nun!!! I'll be in the production of the Sound of Music at the Open Air Theater of Downtown Performing Arts Center.
I've also made a decision about the summer. No full time job, but I'll be doing odd work here and there, focusing on piano for my recital, getting more in depth with singing and learning repertoire, and having as many adventures as I can!!! I foresee softball, golf, rock climbing, trips to NY and NH, and many other fun happenings!!!
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Any news?
I wish I could tell you that I've been doing super amazing things and I have super exciting news to tell you...but alas, I don't. The most interesting news? With a splint, I've been able to walk all week. Wow. Stop the presses. Seriously, that should go on the front page!
What else has been going on in my glamorous life? In the past week, I've also been turned down for a few summer jobs, reminded of a project and a test coming up that I hadn't done anything for yet, and realized that I have 6 weeks to prepare for a jury that I'm not nearly ready for. (insert panic here) Some people might take this opportunity to go a little crazy and take on more than your average amount of stress similar to a boat taking on water and then subsequently sinking into the ocean. That doesn't sound too pleasant.
Instead, I have chosen to accept that whatever happens these next few weeks and months will happen and that no matter what happens, I will still have family, friends, and a life to live and enjoy. I won't let anything hold me back! Life not going your way isn't a reason to stop living.
On that note, I have another audition tonight around 8. It's for summer theater and the shows that are being staged are some of my favorites. Here we go again!
What else has been going on in my glamorous life? In the past week, I've also been turned down for a few summer jobs, reminded of a project and a test coming up that I hadn't done anything for yet, and realized that I have 6 weeks to prepare for a jury that I'm not nearly ready for. (insert panic here) Some people might take this opportunity to go a little crazy and take on more than your average amount of stress similar to a boat taking on water and then subsequently sinking into the ocean. That doesn't sound too pleasant.
Instead, I have chosen to accept that whatever happens these next few weeks and months will happen and that no matter what happens, I will still have family, friends, and a life to live and enjoy. I won't let anything hold me back! Life not going your way isn't a reason to stop living.On that note, I have another audition tonight around 8. It's for summer theater and the shows that are being staged are some of my favorites. Here we go again!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
One foot in front of the other....
Think back to watching the movie "Santa Claus is Coming to Town". It has the cute penguin, a bunch of elves with rhyming names, Kris Kringle, and a Winter Warlock. There is a scene where the Winter Warlock is doing what all evil beings must do in a kid's flick, go from bad to good. As he is learning to walk along the symbolic path of morality, there is a great tune that encourages him to put "one foot in front of the other". That is the soundtrack of my life right now!!!
To bring you up to speed- I spent Thursday laid up in my living room with ice and a propped ankle. I did homework, watched t.v., read, and stared longingly out the window. There were some heavy rainstorms that day, but I would have given anything to be able to run outside in it! Thursday night I went to an Urgent Care place. Tell you what, this place was awesome! It is a facility that is able to diagnose and treat injuries that aren't "ER" worthy...and therefore, there is no ER wait, and the people are much, much nicer!! After an hour or two at Urgent Care, it was determined that yes, I did have a fracture. Turns out it is what is called an "avulsion fracture". When I fell, the ligaments stretched and pulled like a sprain, but went a further and literally pulled chips of bone off. I had a few chips of bone floating detached from the ankle bones. Home I went on crutches, awaiting (rather impatiently) an appointment with the orthopedist.
Fearing the worst, and hoping for at least an air cast, I headed off to the doctor. Turns out that this kind of fracture can be treated without a cast (dancing around as if I'd just won a million dollars, except not really, because I can't stand on my foot) He said that it would be about a week before I would be able to fully support my weight on it, but I was allowed to try a bit each day to get stronger.
Well, as is my tendency, when someone gives me an inch, I tend to go a mile. By Sunday night, I had tried to walk a bit without crutches. This is great, because as much as a klutz as I was before, you should see me try to walk using two sticks. So anyway, walking=OUCH.... but I was able to do it! I've been able to walk, but in such a weird way that I swear I've forgotten how to do it properly. I can't really bend my ankle while I walk, so I have this weird shuffling gait that allows me to keep the weight off a specific part of my foot. I have to concentrate so hard to walk normally that it looks like I'm figuring out a ridiculous calc problem....plus, it hurts, so I don't try much. And then today, I went outside into the world (what a glorious achievement for someone with no access to a car right now!) and went to a movie and to a store, and overdid it, so I'm back to ice and pain killers. Before you start to scold, don't worry, I've heard enough already, and I'll take it easy.
I think I've finally come to terms with missing the auditions. Others will come. In fact, there are auditions for another musical coming up that doesn't require dancing (!) , so I'm focusing on that for now.
Another downer? I CAN'T RUN FOR A MONTH. I was doing awesome! I wasn't "regularly" running, but it was often enough where I was improving. Now, I can't run for a month! Hmmm....walking here I come!!! Have I told you my goal for this yet? I don't think so---- by the end of the year, I want to run the a path that stretches 26.2 miles....all the way to the steps of the Philly Art Museum!!!
Another adventure that I've thought up? I haven't played softball in about 8 years...since I had to make the choice between softball or music. Maybe I'll play in a summer league : )
Well, it's that time. Practicing tomorrow!
Much Love,
Lauren
To bring you up to speed- I spent Thursday laid up in my living room with ice and a propped ankle. I did homework, watched t.v., read, and stared longingly out the window. There were some heavy rainstorms that day, but I would have given anything to be able to run outside in it! Thursday night I went to an Urgent Care place. Tell you what, this place was awesome! It is a facility that is able to diagnose and treat injuries that aren't "ER" worthy...and therefore, there is no ER wait, and the people are much, much nicer!! After an hour or two at Urgent Care, it was determined that yes, I did have a fracture. Turns out it is what is called an "avulsion fracture". When I fell, the ligaments stretched and pulled like a sprain, but went a further and literally pulled chips of bone off. I had a few chips of bone floating detached from the ankle bones. Home I went on crutches, awaiting (rather impatiently) an appointment with the orthopedist.
Fearing the worst, and hoping for at least an air cast, I headed off to the doctor. Turns out that this kind of fracture can be treated without a cast (dancing around as if I'd just won a million dollars, except not really, because I can't stand on my foot) He said that it would be about a week before I would be able to fully support my weight on it, but I was allowed to try a bit each day to get stronger.
Well, as is my tendency, when someone gives me an inch, I tend to go a mile. By Sunday night, I had tried to walk a bit without crutches. This is great, because as much as a klutz as I was before, you should see me try to walk using two sticks. So anyway, walking=OUCH.... but I was able to do it! I've been able to walk, but in such a weird way that I swear I've forgotten how to do it properly. I can't really bend my ankle while I walk, so I have this weird shuffling gait that allows me to keep the weight off a specific part of my foot. I have to concentrate so hard to walk normally that it looks like I'm figuring out a ridiculous calc problem....plus, it hurts, so I don't try much. And then today, I went outside into the world (what a glorious achievement for someone with no access to a car right now!) and went to a movie and to a store, and overdid it, so I'm back to ice and pain killers. Before you start to scold, don't worry, I've heard enough already, and I'll take it easy.
I think I've finally come to terms with missing the auditions. Others will come. In fact, there are auditions for another musical coming up that doesn't require dancing (!) , so I'm focusing on that for now.
Another downer? I CAN'T RUN FOR A MONTH. I was doing awesome! I wasn't "regularly" running, but it was often enough where I was improving. Now, I can't run for a month! Hmmm....walking here I come!!! Have I told you my goal for this yet? I don't think so---- by the end of the year, I want to run the a path that stretches 26.2 miles....all the way to the steps of the Philly Art Museum!!!
Another adventure that I've thought up? I haven't played softball in about 8 years...since I had to make the choice between softball or music. Maybe I'll play in a summer league : )
Well, it's that time. Practicing tomorrow!
Much Love,
Lauren
Thursday, March 10, 2011
SERIOUSLY?
To fill you in- this weekend I was planning on going to an open audition in NYC on Saturday, another on Monday, and another on Friday!! Obviously not expecting anything, but it was going to be awesome! So much fun! I've been working hard and I thought I was going to really have such blast!
This morning, I'm walking out the door to go to Praxis. I'm excited, I'm ready for the day.
On the ground. In the mud. I twisted my ankle. Can't walk. At all. No weight. My friend is an absolute angel. Got me inside, made the calls I needed to make, called my Uncle (EMT) to see what needs to be done. I'm on the couch with it elevated and ice on it. Stupid!
Seriously? Is this happening now? Just before I'm about to have the most exciting fun weekend ever? I was so ready to go on this adventure, by myself, all by myself to New York! SERIOUSLY?
This morning, I'm walking out the door to go to Praxis. I'm excited, I'm ready for the day.
BOOM.
On the ground. In the mud. I twisted my ankle. Can't walk. At all. No weight. My friend is an absolute angel. Got me inside, made the calls I needed to make, called my Uncle (EMT) to see what needs to be done. I'm on the couch with it elevated and ice on it. Stupid!
Seriously? Is this happening now? Just before I'm about to have the most exciting fun weekend ever? I was so ready to go on this adventure, by myself, all by myself to New York! SERIOUSLY?
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Some more pictures...
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| Just around the river-bend! |
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| Gate to Narnia? |
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| Anyone home? |
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| Pretty flowers! |
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| A road. |
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| If a tree falls in a forest with no one around, does it make a sound? |
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| Look at the roots of the tree! Amazing! |
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Two roads diverged...
Most often, I adore Saturdays. It's not because of the rest it gives me or the ability to do whatever I want. Most depressingly, I love Saturdays for the additional time to get even more work done. That's "most often". Today was another story. It was like one of those scenarios that is described and then followed by the caveat "when pigs fly". I had NOTHING that I had to do. Absolutely nothing! Every project, test, lesson teaching, etc was done last week. Hence, I had nothing to do for next week! So what did I do? Watch some "West Wing", fiddle around with some pictures on the computer, take a 2 1/2 hour walk exploring the area, and taking lots of pretty pictures of trees and such, making dinner, and lazing around.....Absolutely incredible. Be jealous.
I love taking pictures. I've always wanted to be one of those people who can walk around with a camera and just take lots of pictures of nature. So, per my latest experiment, I decided to go for it! Being early March, nothing was really green, but it was still very pretty. It was so much fun! You should try it, even if you've lived in the same place since birth. You'll see lots of new things through a camera. Below are some of my favorites and some of the more quirky ones!
The weekend started off even better because on Friday night a dear friend had her recital. You can't truly know beauty, grace, and God until you see this woman play. She has such a power erupting in her when she plays at the piano. I love recitals like this. I love them even more when I'm not the one playing!
What does the week ahead hold? I'm playing in performance class again on Tuesday. And this time, I found out a mere 5 days before. I think this is my teacher's sneaky plan: avoid the pre-performance debacle . That would be something that she would do. Especially since she is currently going through a little nutty all on her own...in her own words, right as we were starting Thursday's lesson.... "I'm a little bitchy today". Looks like even she's not immune to performance anxiety. I'm actually feeling okay about it. Then again, this is Saturday night after a day of no stress whatsoever, so, you might want to check back with me Monday night.
I also found out about my Cabaret audition!! It must have gone well because I was offered an ensemble part! Yipppeee! Smile!! As previously alluded to, many many times, I can't dance, so I wasn't looking for a principle role. Unfortunately, I've had to turn it down. Major, major boo. I haven't finalized my paid job this summer, so I can't accept anything that would interfere with the money. (Insert "money money money moooney. moooooney") Being an adult is annoying sometimes.
I've got some other stuff coming up, though. Paid summer stock. Again, pigs will fly..........
Also, I'm generally just feeling really good lately. I'm happy, healthy, and living life. I take pictures, sing, read books that I want to read, stalk youtube, cook new and fun food, and still manage to keep up with crazy school and everything else. I'm living life as best as I can. I think I'm doing okay!
Much Love,
Lauren
I love taking pictures. I've always wanted to be one of those people who can walk around with a camera and just take lots of pictures of nature. So, per my latest experiment, I decided to go for it! Being early March, nothing was really green, but it was still very pretty. It was so much fun! You should try it, even if you've lived in the same place since birth. You'll see lots of new things through a camera. Below are some of my favorites and some of the more quirky ones!
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| "...and I took the one less traveled by." |
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| Is it just me, or does the handicapped spot seem a bit superfluous? |
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| I liked comparison of both man-made and nature surrounding a path to walk down. |
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| Creepy house. Needless to say, I did not linger. |
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| GEESE! |
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| I just liked this picture. |
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| Hello. I'm a card carrying member of "self-picture takers anonymous" It's been an issue since I was little. Moving on. |
The weekend started off even better because on Friday night a dear friend had her recital. You can't truly know beauty, grace, and God until you see this woman play. She has such a power erupting in her when she plays at the piano. I love recitals like this. I love them even more when I'm not the one playing!
What does the week ahead hold? I'm playing in performance class again on Tuesday. And this time, I found out a mere 5 days before. I think this is my teacher's sneaky plan: avoid the pre-performance debacle . That would be something that she would do. Especially since she is currently going through a little nutty all on her own...in her own words, right as we were starting Thursday's lesson.... "I'm a little bitchy today". Looks like even she's not immune to performance anxiety. I'm actually feeling okay about it. Then again, this is Saturday night after a day of no stress whatsoever, so, you might want to check back with me Monday night.
I also found out about my Cabaret audition!! It must have gone well because I was offered an ensemble part! Yipppeee! Smile!! As previously alluded to, many many times, I can't dance, so I wasn't looking for a principle role. Unfortunately, I've had to turn it down. Major, major boo. I haven't finalized my paid job this summer, so I can't accept anything that would interfere with the money. (Insert "money money money moooney. moooooney") Being an adult is annoying sometimes.
I've got some other stuff coming up, though. Paid summer stock. Again, pigs will fly..........
Also, I'm generally just feeling really good lately. I'm happy, healthy, and living life. I take pictures, sing, read books that I want to read, stalk youtube, cook new and fun food, and still manage to keep up with crazy school and everything else. I'm living life as best as I can. I think I'm doing okay!
Much Love,
Lauren
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Un-Predictable
It's days like today when I can really affirm my faith in the human race! If you recall the blog post that took the lifespan of a biblical character to read, my last audition wasn't too friendly, to say the least. Today's experience was 180 degrees in the opposite direction! What joy it is to talk to people with actual conversational skills, smiles, and without the secret desire to see you fall headfirst into a pile of worm guts.
I had an excellent time today, although my performance certainly wasn't 100%. Does anybody have any advice on making sure you are warmed up before singing at an audition? I warm up, drive for awhile, and then pop out of the car, open my mouth, and hope some squawking, reminiscent of an annoying bird at 5 AM doesn't come out! I try moving my voice around in the car, but it certainly isn't the same being strapped in, and actually having to pay attention to the road in front of you rather than where your voice placement is.
Today's audition wasn't about me getting anywhere with anything. I hold no expectations in this new adventure of mine. Instead, it was about being something completely opposite myself. People who know me always expect me to be the same, predictable girl, never really reaching outside and exploring. Well, I think I proved them wrong today. Hmmmm...singing a song as a passionate lesbian lover (Take Me or Leave Me) and then performing a monologue of a hopeful Chicago actress who will sleep with anyone to get ahead. Who knew Lauren would even come close to doing that??
I even got the comment that my piece was a bold or brave choice or something like that. Plus, props to me, the monologue I chose was something the director hadn't heard before! And I didn't stutter, forget, or otherwise tongue twist my way into a failed performance. Go me!
Plus, I was totally honest upfront on my inability to, in any way, dance. I want to learn how to in the worst way though! No one wants to see a re-enactment of the previous dancing extravaganza. We'll see what happens next!!
Much Love,
Lauren
I had an excellent time today, although my performance certainly wasn't 100%. Does anybody have any advice on making sure you are warmed up before singing at an audition? I warm up, drive for awhile, and then pop out of the car, open my mouth, and hope some squawking, reminiscent of an annoying bird at 5 AM doesn't come out! I try moving my voice around in the car, but it certainly isn't the same being strapped in, and actually having to pay attention to the road in front of you rather than where your voice placement is.
Today's audition wasn't about me getting anywhere with anything. I hold no expectations in this new adventure of mine. Instead, it was about being something completely opposite myself. People who know me always expect me to be the same, predictable girl, never really reaching outside and exploring. Well, I think I proved them wrong today. Hmmmm...singing a song as a passionate lesbian lover (Take Me or Leave Me) and then performing a monologue of a hopeful Chicago actress who will sleep with anyone to get ahead. Who knew Lauren would even come close to doing that??
I even got the comment that my piece was a bold or brave choice or something like that. Plus, props to me, the monologue I chose was something the director hadn't heard before! And I didn't stutter, forget, or otherwise tongue twist my way into a failed performance. Go me!
Plus, I was totally honest upfront on my inability to, in any way, dance. I want to learn how to in the worst way though! No one wants to see a re-enactment of the previous dancing extravaganza. We'll see what happens next!!
Much Love,
Lauren
Midnight Musings
Fridays are pretty awesome in general, but are made infinitely better with a canceled class and a one way ticket out of lab. Pretty up there on the niceness scale.
What am I doing now, you ask, after midnight? Watching "A Little Princess" on Netflix. ALL girls are Princesses. I love this movie!!! (And extremely dislike Miss Minchin!!) If you haven't seen it, go back to your childhood roots and enjoy! I always am reminded that women are strong and can be whomever they wish to be. This is especially relevant in my current travels!
Agenda for the weekend?
One audition, Two projects, Three hours of assessment class....[insert something clever for four]
Working backwards-
Not looking forward to but not necessarily dreading the assessment class. 3 hours sounds a lot better than the 9 it was originally supposed to be. Hopefully it will be somewhat amusing.
Two projects to do. One is a presentation, the other a score study. Shouldn't take too long....fingers crossed.
I'm excited for the audition. I've been working on my song and monologue. I honestly hold no expectations. I just think its fun! Plus, I really enjoy singing so often....although I can't say what other people who hear me are thinking- haha!
Much Love,
Lauren
What am I doing now, you ask, after midnight? Watching "A Little Princess" on Netflix. ALL girls are Princesses. I love this movie!!! (And extremely dislike Miss Minchin!!) If you haven't seen it, go back to your childhood roots and enjoy! I always am reminded that women are strong and can be whomever they wish to be. This is especially relevant in my current travels!
Agenda for the weekend?
One audition, Two projects, Three hours of assessment class....[insert something clever for four]
Working backwards-
Not looking forward to but not necessarily dreading the assessment class. 3 hours sounds a lot better than the 9 it was originally supposed to be. Hopefully it will be somewhat amusing.
Two projects to do. One is a presentation, the other a score study. Shouldn't take too long....fingers crossed.
I'm excited for the audition. I've been working on my song and monologue. I honestly hold no expectations. I just think its fun! Plus, I really enjoy singing so often....although I can't say what other people who hear me are thinking- haha!
Much Love,
Lauren
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
4th time's a something.
This weekend I have audition #4 (the first 3 occurred before this super-special-extraordinary blog was created). Each time an audition came up, it felt like a cliff was being placed in front of me and a cloud with big puffy cheeks was going to come and blow me off the edge! Now, on #4, I feel I'm starting to get in the groove of things. I'm amazed that I've now been rejected 3 times, and I'm still truckin' along (I think I can, I think I can!) without being discouraged! Want a recap? (Too bad, you're getting one anyway)
Audition #1: Steel Magnolias
So, after I kinda-sort-of made the decision that I wanted to audition for a show, I went looking for upcoming auditions. The first was way back in January, the weekend before school started. I had to prepare a monologue (never done it before....) and had to prepare to read sides from the show (what are sides.....) Even though I pretty much had no clue what I was doing, I was jumping in with both feet! Luckily, the site provided the monologues, so I didn't have to find one myself. I'd sit there, read it, memorize it, and speak it. What else to do???? I really had no clue!
So I went to the audition, not in my Sunday best, but looking very nice. I got to the theater 30 minutes early. The auditors were having lunch. I sat in the lobby and read a book. Wow. Interesting. And how, you may ask, did the audition go? Well, not really knowing how to do a Southern accent, I'm sure it was comical to say the least. I messed up a few lines of the monologue and had to stop while reading the sides (a scene from the show, in which there is a reader and you are a single character) because it was blurry and I couldn't read the text. Then, as I was leaving, I tripped over my own two feet walking out the door. Beautiful. Needless to say, I wasn't called back. But I had a blast!
Audition #2: Steel Magnolias
Nope. Not kidding. I went to another audition for Steel Magnolias. It was another production being staged about 30 minutes in the other direction. This audition DEFINITELY went better. First off, the people were much more likable and generally nicer. I was much more comfortable with the material. In the mean time, I had researched different strategies to use while acting and preparing for an audition. I didn't have to do a monologue this time around (thank goodness!!) , but I had to do a different scene during the audition. This actually went really well. The auditors even laughed! I honestly felt like I might have been given a callback. Unfortunately, one of the performance dates conflicted with a choir performance (boo...). I knew that going in, but decided to go in anyway, just in case they had understudies for the run. They either didn't like me, or didn't call me back because of the scheduling conflict. I'll never know because they never called to let me know either way. That was a bit annoying.
Audition #3: Drowsy Chaperone
Again, not kidding. Our school is about to put on their production of this. Last Fall I didn't know that this Spring I'd have all of this wonderful time (and desire to go on this crazy adventure!) so I never auditioned for the show. Another production was being staged about 40 minutes away, so I decided to take a shot. From the get-go I wasn't too excited about it. Not because I didn't want to do the show, but because of the people there in general! Do you ever walk into a room and sense, at first glance, that you aren't wanted? Well, that was definitely what it felt like. College students (the "uber-cool" community college theater people) were running the auditions and it was so poorly run. My type-2, super-organized brain couldn't stand this one bit. When you sit there for 20 minutes, twiddling your thumbs and someone just calls out, "So, um, does anyone feel like going next?" There were numbers on the form to fill out, so I assumed that there was some kind of order. Nope. It was whoever wanted to go. So at this point, I had warmed up about 2 hours ago, and then drove for an hour, and then had sat and not talked for about 15-20 minutes. This seems like the perfect time to go and sing right??? Well, the singing went okay. Certainly not anywhere near my best, but okay. I was pleasantly surprised when I got asked to come back tomorrow for a call-back. How excited was I?? I decided that even if I felt a little uncomfortable in the environment, I should try. After all, it was a musical, and I was given a call back!
So, I had to cancel going to a seminar that I was supposed to attend in order to drive the approximately hour and a half round trip again and audition. I get there and everyone is, I have no other way of putting this, in little anti-social pods. I try and initiate conversation. Doesn't work. Doesn't anyone know simple conversational skills here? I'll even take a "hello"! Finally, after trying, giving up, sitting alone, and reading a book...I swear I'm not anti-social...this nice, albeit "a little out there", girl comes and talks to me. Okay, so I have a friend it seems...cool! Then I discover.
The callback is a dance audition.
Gasp. Oh no! Run away, as fast as you can! Hide! Lauren is going to dance???? Escape now, or forever hold your peace!
This, by the way, they did not tell me, so I showed up in fitted jeans and a nice shirt, make-up actually on... So I "learn" the dance. I can say that much. I knew the proper order of movements and tried to make some logical sense about how to perform it. It may not have been pretty, but I did it anyway. Go me! At first, I had that better-hide-under-a-rock NOW response. Then I thought, I'm doing this because I want to, not because anyone else is making me, or because I honestly care about what anyone else thinks. I'm doing it for ME, dancing and all. (Although, I'm super glad that there is no video footage of that event.)
After everyone danced the combination, we all were asked to leave and come back when they called us. For 45 minutes I sat in the hallway, trying to do any homework possible...all the while fielding questions from my earlier friend and trying not to choke on the penetrating cigarette smell that fills the area. FINALLY, someone calls us all back together. Taking their good old time, they start handing lines to certain people (and clearly not others). After about 15 minutes of this, they call me and four other souls back to another room. The girl who comes in (the same one who was such a peach during the audition) has a piece of paper, on which is written "Thank You" with my name written below it. She says that we are not needed for the rest of today, but we might be called back for ANOTHER audition on Monday night.
At this point, I've had enough. Actually, I'm glad I wasn't given a part. If I had been given one, I honestly was going to turn it down anyway. This definitely wasn't the foundation of the fun, free-spirited, loving life experience that I was looking for. I was actually called about a week later and offered a chorus role, which I turned down. I wasn't spending almost an hour and a half a few nights of week in the car just to drive somewhere and be with people who honestly weren't nice or enjoyable to be around (and to be in a place that reeks of smoke...) Doesn't that sound like something you'd want to do????
Fast forward to February 23!!
I have another audition coming up on Saturday. And 2:50 pm to be exact! I'm auditioning for Cabaret. Now, for anyone who knows me, this is definitely not the kind of show that I'd normally do, but I've decided to give it a shot anyway! I'm preparing a monologue (Roxie Hart giving her "one woman show") and a song ("Take Me or Leave Me" from Rent) and I'm going to have a grand old time! I have a knock-out dress, courtesy of Mama and a thrift store. I'm really excited! I do have to memorize both the song and monologue before then, but I can do it!
Since the last audition, I've read a few books, on auditioning, fully preparing monologues, and I've been singing about an hour a day. I don't have a vocal coach, but I'm using recordings to match the quality of my voice. I've also been good throughout the years in working out how to place my voice in different ways and how to diagnose issues of strain. I'm very aware of what I feel and I think I'm doing okay. In reality, who knows, but whatever. I gotta work with what I have!!
Wow, that was long, but this is what you get when I write a blog post during my 2:45-4:15 class!
Happy Wednesday!!
Love,
Lauren
Audition #1: Steel Magnolias
So, after I kinda-sort-of made the decision that I wanted to audition for a show, I went looking for upcoming auditions. The first was way back in January, the weekend before school started. I had to prepare a monologue (never done it before....) and had to prepare to read sides from the show (what are sides.....) Even though I pretty much had no clue what I was doing, I was jumping in with both feet! Luckily, the site provided the monologues, so I didn't have to find one myself. I'd sit there, read it, memorize it, and speak it. What else to do???? I really had no clue!
So I went to the audition, not in my Sunday best, but looking very nice. I got to the theater 30 minutes early. The auditors were having lunch. I sat in the lobby and read a book. Wow. Interesting. And how, you may ask, did the audition go? Well, not really knowing how to do a Southern accent, I'm sure it was comical to say the least. I messed up a few lines of the monologue and had to stop while reading the sides (a scene from the show, in which there is a reader and you are a single character) because it was blurry and I couldn't read the text. Then, as I was leaving, I tripped over my own two feet walking out the door. Beautiful. Needless to say, I wasn't called back. But I had a blast!
Audition #2: Steel Magnolias
Nope. Not kidding. I went to another audition for Steel Magnolias. It was another production being staged about 30 minutes in the other direction. This audition DEFINITELY went better. First off, the people were much more likable and generally nicer. I was much more comfortable with the material. In the mean time, I had researched different strategies to use while acting and preparing for an audition. I didn't have to do a monologue this time around (thank goodness!!) , but I had to do a different scene during the audition. This actually went really well. The auditors even laughed! I honestly felt like I might have been given a callback. Unfortunately, one of the performance dates conflicted with a choir performance (boo...). I knew that going in, but decided to go in anyway, just in case they had understudies for the run. They either didn't like me, or didn't call me back because of the scheduling conflict. I'll never know because they never called to let me know either way. That was a bit annoying.
Audition #3: Drowsy Chaperone
Again, not kidding. Our school is about to put on their production of this. Last Fall I didn't know that this Spring I'd have all of this wonderful time (and desire to go on this crazy adventure!) so I never auditioned for the show. Another production was being staged about 40 minutes away, so I decided to take a shot. From the get-go I wasn't too excited about it. Not because I didn't want to do the show, but because of the people there in general! Do you ever walk into a room and sense, at first glance, that you aren't wanted? Well, that was definitely what it felt like. College students (the "uber-cool" community college theater people) were running the auditions and it was so poorly run. My type-2, super-organized brain couldn't stand this one bit. When you sit there for 20 minutes, twiddling your thumbs and someone just calls out, "So, um, does anyone feel like going next?" There were numbers on the form to fill out, so I assumed that there was some kind of order. Nope. It was whoever wanted to go. So at this point, I had warmed up about 2 hours ago, and then drove for an hour, and then had sat and not talked for about 15-20 minutes. This seems like the perfect time to go and sing right??? Well, the singing went okay. Certainly not anywhere near my best, but okay. I was pleasantly surprised when I got asked to come back tomorrow for a call-back. How excited was I?? I decided that even if I felt a little uncomfortable in the environment, I should try. After all, it was a musical, and I was given a call back!
So, I had to cancel going to a seminar that I was supposed to attend in order to drive the approximately hour and a half round trip again and audition. I get there and everyone is, I have no other way of putting this, in little anti-social pods. I try and initiate conversation. Doesn't work. Doesn't anyone know simple conversational skills here? I'll even take a "hello"! Finally, after trying, giving up, sitting alone, and reading a book...I swear I'm not anti-social...this nice, albeit "a little out there", girl comes and talks to me. Okay, so I have a friend it seems...cool! Then I discover.
The callback is a dance audition.
Gasp. Oh no! Run away, as fast as you can! Hide! Lauren is going to dance???? Escape now, or forever hold your peace!
This, by the way, they did not tell me, so I showed up in fitted jeans and a nice shirt, make-up actually on... So I "learn" the dance. I can say that much. I knew the proper order of movements and tried to make some logical sense about how to perform it. It may not have been pretty, but I did it anyway. Go me! At first, I had that better-hide-under-a-rock NOW response. Then I thought, I'm doing this because I want to, not because anyone else is making me, or because I honestly care about what anyone else thinks. I'm doing it for ME, dancing and all. (Although, I'm super glad that there is no video footage of that event.)
After everyone danced the combination, we all were asked to leave and come back when they called us. For 45 minutes I sat in the hallway, trying to do any homework possible...all the while fielding questions from my earlier friend and trying not to choke on the penetrating cigarette smell that fills the area. FINALLY, someone calls us all back together. Taking their good old time, they start handing lines to certain people (and clearly not others). After about 15 minutes of this, they call me and four other souls back to another room. The girl who comes in (the same one who was such a peach during the audition) has a piece of paper, on which is written "Thank You" with my name written below it. She says that we are not needed for the rest of today, but we might be called back for ANOTHER audition on Monday night.
At this point, I've had enough. Actually, I'm glad I wasn't given a part. If I had been given one, I honestly was going to turn it down anyway. This definitely wasn't the foundation of the fun, free-spirited, loving life experience that I was looking for. I was actually called about a week later and offered a chorus role, which I turned down. I wasn't spending almost an hour and a half a few nights of week in the car just to drive somewhere and be with people who honestly weren't nice or enjoyable to be around (and to be in a place that reeks of smoke...) Doesn't that sound like something you'd want to do????
Fast forward to February 23!!
I have another audition coming up on Saturday. And 2:50 pm to be exact! I'm auditioning for Cabaret. Now, for anyone who knows me, this is definitely not the kind of show that I'd normally do, but I've decided to give it a shot anyway! I'm preparing a monologue (Roxie Hart giving her "one woman show") and a song ("Take Me or Leave Me" from Rent) and I'm going to have a grand old time! I have a knock-out dress, courtesy of Mama and a thrift store. I'm really excited! I do have to memorize both the song and monologue before then, but I can do it!
Since the last audition, I've read a few books, on auditioning, fully preparing monologues, and I've been singing about an hour a day. I don't have a vocal coach, but I'm using recordings to match the quality of my voice. I've also been good throughout the years in working out how to place my voice in different ways and how to diagnose issues of strain. I'm very aware of what I feel and I think I'm doing okay. In reality, who knows, but whatever. I gotta work with what I have!!
Wow, that was long, but this is what you get when I write a blog post during my 2:45-4:15 class!
Happy Wednesday!!
Love,
Lauren
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Piano makes me a little nuts. Chapter 1.
Performance class and I have a love-hate relationship. In theory, it's awesome. Who doesn't want the opportunity to say "Pay attention to me and what I can do!" (or rather, you must sit here and listen to me because you can't leave until 4:20 pm...bwahaha) On the other hand, I hate that always looming possibility of near catastrophe, similar to a bomb going off, leading to the ultimate destruction of music as we know it!!! Okay. That last bit might have been an exaggeration, but you get the point! I really don't mind playing in front of people. It's just that I am a perfectionist and can't stand to present anything but the best performance ever. Period.
Rewind to about a week ago. Up until this point, I am as cool as a cucumber. I'm confident, and I feel very solid in the piece. I've played it in studio class nearly flawlessly. I'm totally ready. And then, the inevitable happens. As much as I'd like to pretend it doesn't, the following always happens: I stage a bit of a nutty.
Those of you who haven't had the honor of being my teacher, close friend, or parent around the time of a solo piano performance, count yourselves incredibly lucky. I get very worked up at every practice and lesson, absolutely terrified that I'll keep making the little mistakes. Unfortunately for those around me, this comes out as either rude, annoying, insane, depressed, crying, irrational, or all of the above. Once I start worrying about that, the little mistakes turn into even bigger mistakes. This keeps going until I swear it sounds as if I've been sight reading the sonata!
Usually, about a day or so before the actual performance, everything goes back to normal. I've completely torn apart the piece, gone back to square one, and reworked every tricky passage. I have the sense that everything will be "okay". It's a little depressing for me to think that something will be "okay". I expect perfection! When that doesn't happen (and let's face it, it's nearly impossible) I get a little......uhh, a lot......bummed.
Until now.
Pre-performance class was the same. Everything was right in line...I went nuts, cried, thought I couldn't play the piano ever again....the whole sha-bang. The performance itself was definitely not perfect. According to my teacher it was the fastest on record, which was a reflection on the speed of my heart-rate. I messed a few measures, and had to restart a scalar passage. I was pretty well annoyed with myself. Accepting any praise was difficult, because I saw it as "pity-praise". You know what I'm talking about; the sense that someone is congratulating you only to make them seem polite. Then, about an hour later, I did what no post-performance person is ever meant to do: I immediately watched the video.
Yes, the mistakes were there. It isn't like they didn't occur, or were hidden in some way. But there was also incredible musicality and purpose in my playing. Some passages were the best I'd ever played! Then I realized, if I hadn't done the performance, including those mistakes, those moments of wonder may not have occurred. How's that for a revelation?
In retrospect, it does seem a bit strange though. I've had many vocal performances, both solo and choral, and the same piano-craziness-world-is-ending-today bit doesn't happen. I think it may be because voice has never been a "serious" thing. I never felt like I was competing against anyone, because I always assumed that they were better than me to begin with. I started wondering if the same will begin to happen with voice. If it does, can someone hit me over the head with a 2X4 and bring me to some sense!?!? Any performance opportunity (audition, concert, car ride, shower....) should be viewed as an opportunity to present something beautiful, not as an opportunity to present perfection. That doesn't mean that non-beautiful things will never happen, but they won't matter as much! Mistakes inevitably will happen. In order to stop making mistakes, you have to stop making music. If you stop making music, then nothing beautiful, wonderful, awe-inspiring, joyous, or emotional will ever happen!
In other news, no I haven't been running since that last time. I need to get on a better sleep schedule. Pre- and post- Valentine's sugar is seriously messing with my internals. I'm back to reality as of today, and feeling so much better already. I also realized, now that I want to try and do more, especially marathon and performance wise, I need to act like I'm worthy of those things 24/7. Who says they want to run a marathon and then goes and puts sugary, worthless junk into their system at night and tries to run in the morning? It used to be, I wanted to be healthier to lose weight. Now, I want to be healthier so I can do everything!!! For my Type-2 brain, this makes perfect sense. If [A (having genius new plans for excitement)] + [B (eating healthier)] = [Fun life and exciting opportunities], why wouldn't I do it? (Here endeth the math lesson)
Love,
Lauren
Rewind to about a week ago. Up until this point, I am as cool as a cucumber. I'm confident, and I feel very solid in the piece. I've played it in studio class nearly flawlessly. I'm totally ready. And then, the inevitable happens. As much as I'd like to pretend it doesn't, the following always happens: I stage a bit of a nutty.
Those of you who haven't had the honor of being my teacher, close friend, or parent around the time of a solo piano performance, count yourselves incredibly lucky. I get very worked up at every practice and lesson, absolutely terrified that I'll keep making the little mistakes. Unfortunately for those around me, this comes out as either rude, annoying, insane, depressed, crying, irrational, or all of the above. Once I start worrying about that, the little mistakes turn into even bigger mistakes. This keeps going until I swear it sounds as if I've been sight reading the sonata!
Usually, about a day or so before the actual performance, everything goes back to normal. I've completely torn apart the piece, gone back to square one, and reworked every tricky passage. I have the sense that everything will be "okay". It's a little depressing for me to think that something will be "okay". I expect perfection! When that doesn't happen (and let's face it, it's nearly impossible) I get a little......uhh, a lot......bummed.
Until now.
Pre-performance class was the same. Everything was right in line...I went nuts, cried, thought I couldn't play the piano ever again....the whole sha-bang. The performance itself was definitely not perfect. According to my teacher it was the fastest on record, which was a reflection on the speed of my heart-rate. I messed a few measures, and had to restart a scalar passage. I was pretty well annoyed with myself. Accepting any praise was difficult, because I saw it as "pity-praise". You know what I'm talking about; the sense that someone is congratulating you only to make them seem polite. Then, about an hour later, I did what no post-performance person is ever meant to do: I immediately watched the video.
Yes, the mistakes were there. It isn't like they didn't occur, or were hidden in some way. But there was also incredible musicality and purpose in my playing. Some passages were the best I'd ever played! Then I realized, if I hadn't done the performance, including those mistakes, those moments of wonder may not have occurred. How's that for a revelation?
In retrospect, it does seem a bit strange though. I've had many vocal performances, both solo and choral, and the same piano-craziness-world-is-ending-today bit doesn't happen. I think it may be because voice has never been a "serious" thing. I never felt like I was competing against anyone, because I always assumed that they were better than me to begin with. I started wondering if the same will begin to happen with voice. If it does, can someone hit me over the head with a 2X4 and bring me to some sense!?!? Any performance opportunity (audition, concert, car ride, shower....) should be viewed as an opportunity to present something beautiful, not as an opportunity to present perfection. That doesn't mean that non-beautiful things will never happen, but they won't matter as much! Mistakes inevitably will happen. In order to stop making mistakes, you have to stop making music. If you stop making music, then nothing beautiful, wonderful, awe-inspiring, joyous, or emotional will ever happen!
In other news, no I haven't been running since that last time. I need to get on a better sleep schedule. Pre- and post- Valentine's sugar is seriously messing with my internals. I'm back to reality as of today, and feeling so much better already. I also realized, now that I want to try and do more, especially marathon and performance wise, I need to act like I'm worthy of those things 24/7. Who says they want to run a marathon and then goes and puts sugary, worthless junk into their system at night and tries to run in the morning? It used to be, I wanted to be healthier to lose weight. Now, I want to be healthier so I can do everything!!! For my Type-2 brain, this makes perfect sense. If [A (having genius new plans for excitement)] + [B (eating healthier)] = [Fun life and exciting opportunities], why wouldn't I do it? (Here endeth the math lesson)
Love,
Lauren
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Caution: Random mutterings ahead
Have you ever wondered what your bones look like under your skin? Seriously. I'm staring at my hands, deciding what to type on this, my inaugural blog post, and that random though passes through my brain. Who knows why.
A few weeks ago, I decided that I wanted to do more. I wanted to get "out" of the box that I had so carefully placed myself in years ago. I'm not one to "wander". If I want something, I create a plan and execute it. I've defined myself as a "music education major", which I am. I love teaching and I love music. It makes perfect sense and I swear there could not be a better profession for me.
["House" is over. Switching to "The West Wing". Who says my Saturday night isn't glamorous?]
However--- I want something else. Who knows exactly what it is? All semester I've been trying to find "something else" to do. I've always thought acting, musical theater, and singing would be wonderful to do, but always came up with excuses. There was always someone better, someone with more free time, or other things that required my attention. Why not me?? I want to run a marathon. Why not me?? I want to learn how to dance. Why not me??
This blog is my new "adventure companion" per say. I admit, I have had a muse of sorts. I've been perusing various blogs (most related to Wicked...more on that later) and came across Felicia Ricci's blog, "Unnaturally Green". [Thanks so much Felicia!] Her unique prose inspired me to chronicle my journey to whatever, although it will most likely be less glamorous and filled with more meaningless tidbits. Who knows where I'll end up?
I've been on a total of 3 auditions so far, 2 of which were for the same show but different productions. I've been to a dance audition, leading to the desire to actually learn how to dance before going on another one. I really want to get into some production and have a good time. A few things seem to counteract that: my logical perception of the constraints of my schedule, my self-doubt in regards to actual talent, and the perception that others may have. Again I say, why not me?? Aren't these all things that can be overcome?
The other day, I went running in the morning. I intended on doing a 3 mile run. That in itself was daunting. I hadn't gone that far in a few weeks. I knew I'd be sore and I knew I'd have to crawl down the street home, but nevertheless I went. So I'm going along, rocking along to the beats on my "Running" playlist. Suddenly, it dawns on me that I don't quite know where I am. I'm on this random road, the name of which I'm not familiar, just running along. Most people would grab the cell-phone tucked away in the pocket (invented for this sort of occurrence) and call a friend to look on a map and chart a route home. Not me (of course.) I kept going, knowing that I'd eventually find my way back. Of course, I did. I just followed the same road until it dumped me out somewhere familiar. Through it all, I kept running, intent on not giving up. Once I got home, I mapped the route I took. Drrrrrrrrummmmm roll--- 5 miles total, running 4 straight miles of that. 1/2 mile warm-up and 1/2 mile cool down. Apparently, I can do more than I thought. (And in about 1 hour 15 minutes.......tee hee)
Why can't I do everything that I want to?
Much love,
Lauren
A few weeks ago, I decided that I wanted to do more. I wanted to get "out" of the box that I had so carefully placed myself in years ago. I'm not one to "wander". If I want something, I create a plan and execute it. I've defined myself as a "music education major", which I am. I love teaching and I love music. It makes perfect sense and I swear there could not be a better profession for me.
["House" is over. Switching to "The West Wing". Who says my Saturday night isn't glamorous?]
However--- I want something else. Who knows exactly what it is? All semester I've been trying to find "something else" to do. I've always thought acting, musical theater, and singing would be wonderful to do, but always came up with excuses. There was always someone better, someone with more free time, or other things that required my attention. Why not me?? I want to run a marathon. Why not me?? I want to learn how to dance. Why not me??
This blog is my new "adventure companion" per say. I admit, I have had a muse of sorts. I've been perusing various blogs (most related to Wicked...more on that later) and came across Felicia Ricci's blog, "Unnaturally Green". [Thanks so much Felicia!] Her unique prose inspired me to chronicle my journey to whatever, although it will most likely be less glamorous and filled with more meaningless tidbits. Who knows where I'll end up?
I've been on a total of 3 auditions so far, 2 of which were for the same show but different productions. I've been to a dance audition, leading to the desire to actually learn how to dance before going on another one. I really want to get into some production and have a good time. A few things seem to counteract that: my logical perception of the constraints of my schedule, my self-doubt in regards to actual talent, and the perception that others may have. Again I say, why not me?? Aren't these all things that can be overcome?
The other day, I went running in the morning. I intended on doing a 3 mile run. That in itself was daunting. I hadn't gone that far in a few weeks. I knew I'd be sore and I knew I'd have to crawl down the street home, but nevertheless I went. So I'm going along, rocking along to the beats on my "Running" playlist. Suddenly, it dawns on me that I don't quite know where I am. I'm on this random road, the name of which I'm not familiar, just running along. Most people would grab the cell-phone tucked away in the pocket (invented for this sort of occurrence) and call a friend to look on a map and chart a route home. Not me (of course.) I kept going, knowing that I'd eventually find my way back. Of course, I did. I just followed the same road until it dumped me out somewhere familiar. Through it all, I kept running, intent on not giving up. Once I got home, I mapped the route I took. Drrrrrrrrummmmm roll--- 5 miles total, running 4 straight miles of that. 1/2 mile warm-up and 1/2 mile cool down. Apparently, I can do more than I thought. (And in about 1 hour 15 minutes.......tee hee)
Why can't I do everything that I want to?
Much love,
Lauren
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