It's days like today when I can really affirm my faith in the human race! If you recall the blog post that took the lifespan of a biblical character to read, my last audition wasn't too friendly, to say the least. Today's experience was 180 degrees in the opposite direction! What joy it is to talk to people with actual conversational skills, smiles, and without the secret desire to see you fall headfirst into a pile of worm guts.
I had an excellent time today, although my performance certainly wasn't 100%. Does anybody have any advice on making sure you are warmed up before singing at an audition? I warm up, drive for awhile, and then pop out of the car, open my mouth, and hope some squawking, reminiscent of an annoying bird at 5 AM doesn't come out! I try moving my voice around in the car, but it certainly isn't the same being strapped in, and actually having to pay attention to the road in front of you rather than where your voice placement is.
Today's audition wasn't about me getting anywhere with anything. I hold no expectations in this new adventure of mine. Instead, it was about being something completely opposite myself. People who know me always expect me to be the same, predictable girl, never really reaching outside and exploring. Well, I think I proved them wrong today. Hmmmm...singing a song as a passionate lesbian lover (Take Me or Leave Me) and then performing a monologue of a hopeful Chicago actress who will sleep with anyone to get ahead. Who knew Lauren would even come close to doing that??
I even got the comment that my piece was a bold or brave choice or something like that. Plus, props to me, the monologue I chose was something the director hadn't heard before! And I didn't stutter, forget, or otherwise tongue twist my way into a failed performance. Go me!
Plus, I was totally honest upfront on my inability to, in any way, dance. I want to learn how to in the worst way though! No one wants to see a re-enactment of the previous dancing extravaganza. We'll see what happens next!!
Much Love,
Lauren
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Midnight Musings
Fridays are pretty awesome in general, but are made infinitely better with a canceled class and a one way ticket out of lab. Pretty up there on the niceness scale.
What am I doing now, you ask, after midnight? Watching "A Little Princess" on Netflix. ALL girls are Princesses. I love this movie!!! (And extremely dislike Miss Minchin!!) If you haven't seen it, go back to your childhood roots and enjoy! I always am reminded that women are strong and can be whomever they wish to be. This is especially relevant in my current travels!
Agenda for the weekend?
One audition, Two projects, Three hours of assessment class....[insert something clever for four]
Working backwards-
Not looking forward to but not necessarily dreading the assessment class. 3 hours sounds a lot better than the 9 it was originally supposed to be. Hopefully it will be somewhat amusing.
Two projects to do. One is a presentation, the other a score study. Shouldn't take too long....fingers crossed.
I'm excited for the audition. I've been working on my song and monologue. I honestly hold no expectations. I just think its fun! Plus, I really enjoy singing so often....although I can't say what other people who hear me are thinking- haha!
Much Love,
Lauren
What am I doing now, you ask, after midnight? Watching "A Little Princess" on Netflix. ALL girls are Princesses. I love this movie!!! (And extremely dislike Miss Minchin!!) If you haven't seen it, go back to your childhood roots and enjoy! I always am reminded that women are strong and can be whomever they wish to be. This is especially relevant in my current travels!
Agenda for the weekend?
One audition, Two projects, Three hours of assessment class....[insert something clever for four]
Working backwards-
Not looking forward to but not necessarily dreading the assessment class. 3 hours sounds a lot better than the 9 it was originally supposed to be. Hopefully it will be somewhat amusing.
Two projects to do. One is a presentation, the other a score study. Shouldn't take too long....fingers crossed.
I'm excited for the audition. I've been working on my song and monologue. I honestly hold no expectations. I just think its fun! Plus, I really enjoy singing so often....although I can't say what other people who hear me are thinking- haha!
Much Love,
Lauren
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
4th time's a something.
This weekend I have audition #4 (the first 3 occurred before this super-special-extraordinary blog was created). Each time an audition came up, it felt like a cliff was being placed in front of me and a cloud with big puffy cheeks was going to come and blow me off the edge! Now, on #4, I feel I'm starting to get in the groove of things. I'm amazed that I've now been rejected 3 times, and I'm still truckin' along (I think I can, I think I can!) without being discouraged! Want a recap? (Too bad, you're getting one anyway)
Audition #1: Steel Magnolias
So, after I kinda-sort-of made the decision that I wanted to audition for a show, I went looking for upcoming auditions. The first was way back in January, the weekend before school started. I had to prepare a monologue (never done it before....) and had to prepare to read sides from the show (what are sides.....) Even though I pretty much had no clue what I was doing, I was jumping in with both feet! Luckily, the site provided the monologues, so I didn't have to find one myself. I'd sit there, read it, memorize it, and speak it. What else to do???? I really had no clue!
So I went to the audition, not in my Sunday best, but looking very nice. I got to the theater 30 minutes early. The auditors were having lunch. I sat in the lobby and read a book. Wow. Interesting. And how, you may ask, did the audition go? Well, not really knowing how to do a Southern accent, I'm sure it was comical to say the least. I messed up a few lines of the monologue and had to stop while reading the sides (a scene from the show, in which there is a reader and you are a single character) because it was blurry and I couldn't read the text. Then, as I was leaving, I tripped over my own two feet walking out the door. Beautiful. Needless to say, I wasn't called back. But I had a blast!
Audition #2: Steel Magnolias
Nope. Not kidding. I went to another audition for Steel Magnolias. It was another production being staged about 30 minutes in the other direction. This audition DEFINITELY went better. First off, the people were much more likable and generally nicer. I was much more comfortable with the material. In the mean time, I had researched different strategies to use while acting and preparing for an audition. I didn't have to do a monologue this time around (thank goodness!!) , but I had to do a different scene during the audition. This actually went really well. The auditors even laughed! I honestly felt like I might have been given a callback. Unfortunately, one of the performance dates conflicted with a choir performance (boo...). I knew that going in, but decided to go in anyway, just in case they had understudies for the run. They either didn't like me, or didn't call me back because of the scheduling conflict. I'll never know because they never called to let me know either way. That was a bit annoying.
Audition #3: Drowsy Chaperone
Again, not kidding. Our school is about to put on their production of this. Last Fall I didn't know that this Spring I'd have all of this wonderful time (and desire to go on this crazy adventure!) so I never auditioned for the show. Another production was being staged about 40 minutes away, so I decided to take a shot. From the get-go I wasn't too excited about it. Not because I didn't want to do the show, but because of the people there in general! Do you ever walk into a room and sense, at first glance, that you aren't wanted? Well, that was definitely what it felt like. College students (the "uber-cool" community college theater people) were running the auditions and it was so poorly run. My type-2, super-organized brain couldn't stand this one bit. When you sit there for 20 minutes, twiddling your thumbs and someone just calls out, "So, um, does anyone feel like going next?" There were numbers on the form to fill out, so I assumed that there was some kind of order. Nope. It was whoever wanted to go. So at this point, I had warmed up about 2 hours ago, and then drove for an hour, and then had sat and not talked for about 15-20 minutes. This seems like the perfect time to go and sing right??? Well, the singing went okay. Certainly not anywhere near my best, but okay. I was pleasantly surprised when I got asked to come back tomorrow for a call-back. How excited was I?? I decided that even if I felt a little uncomfortable in the environment, I should try. After all, it was a musical, and I was given a call back!
So, I had to cancel going to a seminar that I was supposed to attend in order to drive the approximately hour and a half round trip again and audition. I get there and everyone is, I have no other way of putting this, in little anti-social pods. I try and initiate conversation. Doesn't work. Doesn't anyone know simple conversational skills here? I'll even take a "hello"! Finally, after trying, giving up, sitting alone, and reading a book...I swear I'm not anti-social...this nice, albeit "a little out there", girl comes and talks to me. Okay, so I have a friend it seems...cool! Then I discover.
The callback is a dance audition.
Gasp. Oh no! Run away, as fast as you can! Hide! Lauren is going to dance???? Escape now, or forever hold your peace!
This, by the way, they did not tell me, so I showed up in fitted jeans and a nice shirt, make-up actually on... So I "learn" the dance. I can say that much. I knew the proper order of movements and tried to make some logical sense about how to perform it. It may not have been pretty, but I did it anyway. Go me! At first, I had that better-hide-under-a-rock NOW response. Then I thought, I'm doing this because I want to, not because anyone else is making me, or because I honestly care about what anyone else thinks. I'm doing it for ME, dancing and all. (Although, I'm super glad that there is no video footage of that event.)
After everyone danced the combination, we all were asked to leave and come back when they called us. For 45 minutes I sat in the hallway, trying to do any homework possible...all the while fielding questions from my earlier friend and trying not to choke on the penetrating cigarette smell that fills the area. FINALLY, someone calls us all back together. Taking their good old time, they start handing lines to certain people (and clearly not others). After about 15 minutes of this, they call me and four other souls back to another room. The girl who comes in (the same one who was such a peach during the audition) has a piece of paper, on which is written "Thank You" with my name written below it. She says that we are not needed for the rest of today, but we might be called back for ANOTHER audition on Monday night.
At this point, I've had enough. Actually, I'm glad I wasn't given a part. If I had been given one, I honestly was going to turn it down anyway. This definitely wasn't the foundation of the fun, free-spirited, loving life experience that I was looking for. I was actually called about a week later and offered a chorus role, which I turned down. I wasn't spending almost an hour and a half a few nights of week in the car just to drive somewhere and be with people who honestly weren't nice or enjoyable to be around (and to be in a place that reeks of smoke...) Doesn't that sound like something you'd want to do????
Fast forward to February 23!!
I have another audition coming up on Saturday. And 2:50 pm to be exact! I'm auditioning for Cabaret. Now, for anyone who knows me, this is definitely not the kind of show that I'd normally do, but I've decided to give it a shot anyway! I'm preparing a monologue (Roxie Hart giving her "one woman show") and a song ("Take Me or Leave Me" from Rent) and I'm going to have a grand old time! I have a knock-out dress, courtesy of Mama and a thrift store. I'm really excited! I do have to memorize both the song and monologue before then, but I can do it!
Since the last audition, I've read a few books, on auditioning, fully preparing monologues, and I've been singing about an hour a day. I don't have a vocal coach, but I'm using recordings to match the quality of my voice. I've also been good throughout the years in working out how to place my voice in different ways and how to diagnose issues of strain. I'm very aware of what I feel and I think I'm doing okay. In reality, who knows, but whatever. I gotta work with what I have!!
Wow, that was long, but this is what you get when I write a blog post during my 2:45-4:15 class!
Happy Wednesday!!
Love,
Lauren
Audition #1: Steel Magnolias
So, after I kinda-sort-of made the decision that I wanted to audition for a show, I went looking for upcoming auditions. The first was way back in January, the weekend before school started. I had to prepare a monologue (never done it before....) and had to prepare to read sides from the show (what are sides.....) Even though I pretty much had no clue what I was doing, I was jumping in with both feet! Luckily, the site provided the monologues, so I didn't have to find one myself. I'd sit there, read it, memorize it, and speak it. What else to do???? I really had no clue!
So I went to the audition, not in my Sunday best, but looking very nice. I got to the theater 30 minutes early. The auditors were having lunch. I sat in the lobby and read a book. Wow. Interesting. And how, you may ask, did the audition go? Well, not really knowing how to do a Southern accent, I'm sure it was comical to say the least. I messed up a few lines of the monologue and had to stop while reading the sides (a scene from the show, in which there is a reader and you are a single character) because it was blurry and I couldn't read the text. Then, as I was leaving, I tripped over my own two feet walking out the door. Beautiful. Needless to say, I wasn't called back. But I had a blast!
Audition #2: Steel Magnolias
Nope. Not kidding. I went to another audition for Steel Magnolias. It was another production being staged about 30 minutes in the other direction. This audition DEFINITELY went better. First off, the people were much more likable and generally nicer. I was much more comfortable with the material. In the mean time, I had researched different strategies to use while acting and preparing for an audition. I didn't have to do a monologue this time around (thank goodness!!) , but I had to do a different scene during the audition. This actually went really well. The auditors even laughed! I honestly felt like I might have been given a callback. Unfortunately, one of the performance dates conflicted with a choir performance (boo...). I knew that going in, but decided to go in anyway, just in case they had understudies for the run. They either didn't like me, or didn't call me back because of the scheduling conflict. I'll never know because they never called to let me know either way. That was a bit annoying.
Audition #3: Drowsy Chaperone
Again, not kidding. Our school is about to put on their production of this. Last Fall I didn't know that this Spring I'd have all of this wonderful time (and desire to go on this crazy adventure!) so I never auditioned for the show. Another production was being staged about 40 minutes away, so I decided to take a shot. From the get-go I wasn't too excited about it. Not because I didn't want to do the show, but because of the people there in general! Do you ever walk into a room and sense, at first glance, that you aren't wanted? Well, that was definitely what it felt like. College students (the "uber-cool" community college theater people) were running the auditions and it was so poorly run. My type-2, super-organized brain couldn't stand this one bit. When you sit there for 20 minutes, twiddling your thumbs and someone just calls out, "So, um, does anyone feel like going next?" There were numbers on the form to fill out, so I assumed that there was some kind of order. Nope. It was whoever wanted to go. So at this point, I had warmed up about 2 hours ago, and then drove for an hour, and then had sat and not talked for about 15-20 minutes. This seems like the perfect time to go and sing right??? Well, the singing went okay. Certainly not anywhere near my best, but okay. I was pleasantly surprised when I got asked to come back tomorrow for a call-back. How excited was I?? I decided that even if I felt a little uncomfortable in the environment, I should try. After all, it was a musical, and I was given a call back!
So, I had to cancel going to a seminar that I was supposed to attend in order to drive the approximately hour and a half round trip again and audition. I get there and everyone is, I have no other way of putting this, in little anti-social pods. I try and initiate conversation. Doesn't work. Doesn't anyone know simple conversational skills here? I'll even take a "hello"! Finally, after trying, giving up, sitting alone, and reading a book...I swear I'm not anti-social...this nice, albeit "a little out there", girl comes and talks to me. Okay, so I have a friend it seems...cool! Then I discover.
The callback is a dance audition.
Gasp. Oh no! Run away, as fast as you can! Hide! Lauren is going to dance???? Escape now, or forever hold your peace!
This, by the way, they did not tell me, so I showed up in fitted jeans and a nice shirt, make-up actually on... So I "learn" the dance. I can say that much. I knew the proper order of movements and tried to make some logical sense about how to perform it. It may not have been pretty, but I did it anyway. Go me! At first, I had that better-hide-under-a-rock NOW response. Then I thought, I'm doing this because I want to, not because anyone else is making me, or because I honestly care about what anyone else thinks. I'm doing it for ME, dancing and all. (Although, I'm super glad that there is no video footage of that event.)
After everyone danced the combination, we all were asked to leave and come back when they called us. For 45 minutes I sat in the hallway, trying to do any homework possible...all the while fielding questions from my earlier friend and trying not to choke on the penetrating cigarette smell that fills the area. FINALLY, someone calls us all back together. Taking their good old time, they start handing lines to certain people (and clearly not others). After about 15 minutes of this, they call me and four other souls back to another room. The girl who comes in (the same one who was such a peach during the audition) has a piece of paper, on which is written "Thank You" with my name written below it. She says that we are not needed for the rest of today, but we might be called back for ANOTHER audition on Monday night.
At this point, I've had enough. Actually, I'm glad I wasn't given a part. If I had been given one, I honestly was going to turn it down anyway. This definitely wasn't the foundation of the fun, free-spirited, loving life experience that I was looking for. I was actually called about a week later and offered a chorus role, which I turned down. I wasn't spending almost an hour and a half a few nights of week in the car just to drive somewhere and be with people who honestly weren't nice or enjoyable to be around (and to be in a place that reeks of smoke...) Doesn't that sound like something you'd want to do????
Fast forward to February 23!!
I have another audition coming up on Saturday. And 2:50 pm to be exact! I'm auditioning for Cabaret. Now, for anyone who knows me, this is definitely not the kind of show that I'd normally do, but I've decided to give it a shot anyway! I'm preparing a monologue (Roxie Hart giving her "one woman show") and a song ("Take Me or Leave Me" from Rent) and I'm going to have a grand old time! I have a knock-out dress, courtesy of Mama and a thrift store. I'm really excited! I do have to memorize both the song and monologue before then, but I can do it!
Since the last audition, I've read a few books, on auditioning, fully preparing monologues, and I've been singing about an hour a day. I don't have a vocal coach, but I'm using recordings to match the quality of my voice. I've also been good throughout the years in working out how to place my voice in different ways and how to diagnose issues of strain. I'm very aware of what I feel and I think I'm doing okay. In reality, who knows, but whatever. I gotta work with what I have!!
Wow, that was long, but this is what you get when I write a blog post during my 2:45-4:15 class!
Happy Wednesday!!
Love,
Lauren
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Piano makes me a little nuts. Chapter 1.
Performance class and I have a love-hate relationship. In theory, it's awesome. Who doesn't want the opportunity to say "Pay attention to me and what I can do!" (or rather, you must sit here and listen to me because you can't leave until 4:20 pm...bwahaha) On the other hand, I hate that always looming possibility of near catastrophe, similar to a bomb going off, leading to the ultimate destruction of music as we know it!!! Okay. That last bit might have been an exaggeration, but you get the point! I really don't mind playing in front of people. It's just that I am a perfectionist and can't stand to present anything but the best performance ever. Period.
Rewind to about a week ago. Up until this point, I am as cool as a cucumber. I'm confident, and I feel very solid in the piece. I've played it in studio class nearly flawlessly. I'm totally ready. And then, the inevitable happens. As much as I'd like to pretend it doesn't, the following always happens: I stage a bit of a nutty.
Those of you who haven't had the honor of being my teacher, close friend, or parent around the time of a solo piano performance, count yourselves incredibly lucky. I get very worked up at every practice and lesson, absolutely terrified that I'll keep making the little mistakes. Unfortunately for those around me, this comes out as either rude, annoying, insane, depressed, crying, irrational, or all of the above. Once I start worrying about that, the little mistakes turn into even bigger mistakes. This keeps going until I swear it sounds as if I've been sight reading the sonata!
Usually, about a day or so before the actual performance, everything goes back to normal. I've completely torn apart the piece, gone back to square one, and reworked every tricky passage. I have the sense that everything will be "okay". It's a little depressing for me to think that something will be "okay". I expect perfection! When that doesn't happen (and let's face it, it's nearly impossible) I get a little......uhh, a lot......bummed.
Until now.
Pre-performance class was the same. Everything was right in line...I went nuts, cried, thought I couldn't play the piano ever again....the whole sha-bang. The performance itself was definitely not perfect. According to my teacher it was the fastest on record, which was a reflection on the speed of my heart-rate. I messed a few measures, and had to restart a scalar passage. I was pretty well annoyed with myself. Accepting any praise was difficult, because I saw it as "pity-praise". You know what I'm talking about; the sense that someone is congratulating you only to make them seem polite. Then, about an hour later, I did what no post-performance person is ever meant to do: I immediately watched the video.
Yes, the mistakes were there. It isn't like they didn't occur, or were hidden in some way. But there was also incredible musicality and purpose in my playing. Some passages were the best I'd ever played! Then I realized, if I hadn't done the performance, including those mistakes, those moments of wonder may not have occurred. How's that for a revelation?
In retrospect, it does seem a bit strange though. I've had many vocal performances, both solo and choral, and the same piano-craziness-world-is-ending-today bit doesn't happen. I think it may be because voice has never been a "serious" thing. I never felt like I was competing against anyone, because I always assumed that they were better than me to begin with. I started wondering if the same will begin to happen with voice. If it does, can someone hit me over the head with a 2X4 and bring me to some sense!?!? Any performance opportunity (audition, concert, car ride, shower....) should be viewed as an opportunity to present something beautiful, not as an opportunity to present perfection. That doesn't mean that non-beautiful things will never happen, but they won't matter as much! Mistakes inevitably will happen. In order to stop making mistakes, you have to stop making music. If you stop making music, then nothing beautiful, wonderful, awe-inspiring, joyous, or emotional will ever happen!
In other news, no I haven't been running since that last time. I need to get on a better sleep schedule. Pre- and post- Valentine's sugar is seriously messing with my internals. I'm back to reality as of today, and feeling so much better already. I also realized, now that I want to try and do more, especially marathon and performance wise, I need to act like I'm worthy of those things 24/7. Who says they want to run a marathon and then goes and puts sugary, worthless junk into their system at night and tries to run in the morning? It used to be, I wanted to be healthier to lose weight. Now, I want to be healthier so I can do everything!!! For my Type-2 brain, this makes perfect sense. If [A (having genius new plans for excitement)] + [B (eating healthier)] = [Fun life and exciting opportunities], why wouldn't I do it? (Here endeth the math lesson)
Love,
Lauren
Rewind to about a week ago. Up until this point, I am as cool as a cucumber. I'm confident, and I feel very solid in the piece. I've played it in studio class nearly flawlessly. I'm totally ready. And then, the inevitable happens. As much as I'd like to pretend it doesn't, the following always happens: I stage a bit of a nutty.
Those of you who haven't had the honor of being my teacher, close friend, or parent around the time of a solo piano performance, count yourselves incredibly lucky. I get very worked up at every practice and lesson, absolutely terrified that I'll keep making the little mistakes. Unfortunately for those around me, this comes out as either rude, annoying, insane, depressed, crying, irrational, or all of the above. Once I start worrying about that, the little mistakes turn into even bigger mistakes. This keeps going until I swear it sounds as if I've been sight reading the sonata!
Usually, about a day or so before the actual performance, everything goes back to normal. I've completely torn apart the piece, gone back to square one, and reworked every tricky passage. I have the sense that everything will be "okay". It's a little depressing for me to think that something will be "okay". I expect perfection! When that doesn't happen (and let's face it, it's nearly impossible) I get a little......uhh, a lot......bummed.
Until now.
Pre-performance class was the same. Everything was right in line...I went nuts, cried, thought I couldn't play the piano ever again....the whole sha-bang. The performance itself was definitely not perfect. According to my teacher it was the fastest on record, which was a reflection on the speed of my heart-rate. I messed a few measures, and had to restart a scalar passage. I was pretty well annoyed with myself. Accepting any praise was difficult, because I saw it as "pity-praise". You know what I'm talking about; the sense that someone is congratulating you only to make them seem polite. Then, about an hour later, I did what no post-performance person is ever meant to do: I immediately watched the video.
Yes, the mistakes were there. It isn't like they didn't occur, or were hidden in some way. But there was also incredible musicality and purpose in my playing. Some passages were the best I'd ever played! Then I realized, if I hadn't done the performance, including those mistakes, those moments of wonder may not have occurred. How's that for a revelation?
In retrospect, it does seem a bit strange though. I've had many vocal performances, both solo and choral, and the same piano-craziness-world-is-ending-today bit doesn't happen. I think it may be because voice has never been a "serious" thing. I never felt like I was competing against anyone, because I always assumed that they were better than me to begin with. I started wondering if the same will begin to happen with voice. If it does, can someone hit me over the head with a 2X4 and bring me to some sense!?!? Any performance opportunity (audition, concert, car ride, shower....) should be viewed as an opportunity to present something beautiful, not as an opportunity to present perfection. That doesn't mean that non-beautiful things will never happen, but they won't matter as much! Mistakes inevitably will happen. In order to stop making mistakes, you have to stop making music. If you stop making music, then nothing beautiful, wonderful, awe-inspiring, joyous, or emotional will ever happen!
In other news, no I haven't been running since that last time. I need to get on a better sleep schedule. Pre- and post- Valentine's sugar is seriously messing with my internals. I'm back to reality as of today, and feeling so much better already. I also realized, now that I want to try and do more, especially marathon and performance wise, I need to act like I'm worthy of those things 24/7. Who says they want to run a marathon and then goes and puts sugary, worthless junk into their system at night and tries to run in the morning? It used to be, I wanted to be healthier to lose weight. Now, I want to be healthier so I can do everything!!! For my Type-2 brain, this makes perfect sense. If [A (having genius new plans for excitement)] + [B (eating healthier)] = [Fun life and exciting opportunities], why wouldn't I do it? (Here endeth the math lesson)
Love,
Lauren
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Caution: Random mutterings ahead
Have you ever wondered what your bones look like under your skin? Seriously. I'm staring at my hands, deciding what to type on this, my inaugural blog post, and that random though passes through my brain. Who knows why.
A few weeks ago, I decided that I wanted to do more. I wanted to get "out" of the box that I had so carefully placed myself in years ago. I'm not one to "wander". If I want something, I create a plan and execute it. I've defined myself as a "music education major", which I am. I love teaching and I love music. It makes perfect sense and I swear there could not be a better profession for me.
["House" is over. Switching to "The West Wing". Who says my Saturday night isn't glamorous?]
However--- I want something else. Who knows exactly what it is? All semester I've been trying to find "something else" to do. I've always thought acting, musical theater, and singing would be wonderful to do, but always came up with excuses. There was always someone better, someone with more free time, or other things that required my attention. Why not me?? I want to run a marathon. Why not me?? I want to learn how to dance. Why not me??
This blog is my new "adventure companion" per say. I admit, I have had a muse of sorts. I've been perusing various blogs (most related to Wicked...more on that later) and came across Felicia Ricci's blog, "Unnaturally Green". [Thanks so much Felicia!] Her unique prose inspired me to chronicle my journey to whatever, although it will most likely be less glamorous and filled with more meaningless tidbits. Who knows where I'll end up?
I've been on a total of 3 auditions so far, 2 of which were for the same show but different productions. I've been to a dance audition, leading to the desire to actually learn how to dance before going on another one. I really want to get into some production and have a good time. A few things seem to counteract that: my logical perception of the constraints of my schedule, my self-doubt in regards to actual talent, and the perception that others may have. Again I say, why not me?? Aren't these all things that can be overcome?
The other day, I went running in the morning. I intended on doing a 3 mile run. That in itself was daunting. I hadn't gone that far in a few weeks. I knew I'd be sore and I knew I'd have to crawl down the street home, but nevertheless I went. So I'm going along, rocking along to the beats on my "Running" playlist. Suddenly, it dawns on me that I don't quite know where I am. I'm on this random road, the name of which I'm not familiar, just running along. Most people would grab the cell-phone tucked away in the pocket (invented for this sort of occurrence) and call a friend to look on a map and chart a route home. Not me (of course.) I kept going, knowing that I'd eventually find my way back. Of course, I did. I just followed the same road until it dumped me out somewhere familiar. Through it all, I kept running, intent on not giving up. Once I got home, I mapped the route I took. Drrrrrrrrummmmm roll--- 5 miles total, running 4 straight miles of that. 1/2 mile warm-up and 1/2 mile cool down. Apparently, I can do more than I thought. (And in about 1 hour 15 minutes.......tee hee)
Why can't I do everything that I want to?
Much love,
Lauren
A few weeks ago, I decided that I wanted to do more. I wanted to get "out" of the box that I had so carefully placed myself in years ago. I'm not one to "wander". If I want something, I create a plan and execute it. I've defined myself as a "music education major", which I am. I love teaching and I love music. It makes perfect sense and I swear there could not be a better profession for me.
["House" is over. Switching to "The West Wing". Who says my Saturday night isn't glamorous?]
However--- I want something else. Who knows exactly what it is? All semester I've been trying to find "something else" to do. I've always thought acting, musical theater, and singing would be wonderful to do, but always came up with excuses. There was always someone better, someone with more free time, or other things that required my attention. Why not me?? I want to run a marathon. Why not me?? I want to learn how to dance. Why not me??
This blog is my new "adventure companion" per say. I admit, I have had a muse of sorts. I've been perusing various blogs (most related to Wicked...more on that later) and came across Felicia Ricci's blog, "Unnaturally Green". [Thanks so much Felicia!] Her unique prose inspired me to chronicle my journey to whatever, although it will most likely be less glamorous and filled with more meaningless tidbits. Who knows where I'll end up?
I've been on a total of 3 auditions so far, 2 of which were for the same show but different productions. I've been to a dance audition, leading to the desire to actually learn how to dance before going on another one. I really want to get into some production and have a good time. A few things seem to counteract that: my logical perception of the constraints of my schedule, my self-doubt in regards to actual talent, and the perception that others may have. Again I say, why not me?? Aren't these all things that can be overcome?
The other day, I went running in the morning. I intended on doing a 3 mile run. That in itself was daunting. I hadn't gone that far in a few weeks. I knew I'd be sore and I knew I'd have to crawl down the street home, but nevertheless I went. So I'm going along, rocking along to the beats on my "Running" playlist. Suddenly, it dawns on me that I don't quite know where I am. I'm on this random road, the name of which I'm not familiar, just running along. Most people would grab the cell-phone tucked away in the pocket (invented for this sort of occurrence) and call a friend to look on a map and chart a route home. Not me (of course.) I kept going, knowing that I'd eventually find my way back. Of course, I did. I just followed the same road until it dumped me out somewhere familiar. Through it all, I kept running, intent on not giving up. Once I got home, I mapped the route I took. Drrrrrrrrummmmm roll--- 5 miles total, running 4 straight miles of that. 1/2 mile warm-up and 1/2 mile cool down. Apparently, I can do more than I thought. (And in about 1 hour 15 minutes.......tee hee)
Why can't I do everything that I want to?
Much love,
Lauren
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