Yes. I forgot about this blog.
Moving on.
I have to tell you about some awesome-ness that has been going on. Mostly scary, but also thrilling...like some twisted version of reality that I could never begin to understand. First off, senior year is indicative of many things (getting a "grown-up job", getting to wear a funny hat, and panicking at your looming debt) but at a music conservatory, the one thing that tops the list is the senior recital. Whoa. Scary. At least for me anyway. Some chill people might be saying "What? An hour of music to perform in front of family, friends, and my professors? Memorized? No problem!" I, however, am (was) squarely in the panic mode situation. Until (drumrolllll for dramatic effect please) I finished my rep ahead of schedule. AND I'm doing the "Revolutionary Etude" by Chopin, which in layman's terms is as very hard piece of music Chopin wrote to be both beautiful and a torture device for the left hand. But no worries! It may be at a tempo reminiscent of a snail tiptoeing through molasses, but it'll be ready in time. Not bad for someone whose teacher wasn't sure if said piece was even possible.
Also. I'm going to be a full fledged teacher in less than a year. This time next year, I will (positive, job getting thoughts please!) be getting my adorable little angels (here's to hoping!) ready for their holiday concert. WHAT. That's some ridiculous crazy talk. Then comes the scary. Me? A teacher? Similar to every other "adventure" (except this is real life) I'll just have to go for it. No sense in living otherwise! Plus, I really love it. For me, teaching is the same as someone stepping on a stage or going into the World Series (if the Phillies actually made it to the World Series that is...sore subject. Don't like to talk about it) Joy and terror, all at the same time, followed by exuberance and passion and exhaustion.
Right now I'm watching the Santa Claus 1, indulging in my unnatural enthusiasm for all things Christmas and Disney. Don't know why that was important, just thought I'd mention. Who needs Halloween and Thanksgiving? Let's get right to decking the halls! Plus, my recital will be over by then....CELEBRATE.
Oh! In other life news, I'm now an organist. Who knew? I didn't! I'm hoping the congregation doesn't quite realize that either...
So this is just a random post of some entirely too random things. Or maybe there is a theme. Not totally sure...I'm sick right now (not "cool" sick, but phlegm-filled throat sore plague sick...) Either way, this might turn out to be my bringing forth a renaissance for this blog or it will be a random post amidst months of nothing-ness. Regardless, thanks for reading (or skimming, or just pretending).
Friday, October 14, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
The "S" Word
SUCCESS.
It's what everyone wants but never seems to say they have. Why is that?
Let's take a closer look, shall we.
What defines success? {insert dictionary entry here}
Everywhere today we see images of success reminding us helpless common folk that we aren't doing well enough. A half-hour rerun provides enough well placed advertising to convince me that I am too fat, not pretty, don't have enough money, not liked, and that I will remain single the rest of my life just so I can hold out for that dashing fellow with wavy hair and perfect smile.
After every performance, I immediately re-examine every detail to determine if I was successful. Was I good? Did I miss a note....or ten? What was the audience thinking? Did I look okay? Are they judging me? On. and on. and on. The minute that I stop performing (regardless of the medium), I imagine a little switch in my brain going off and the wave of self deprecating thoughts begins.
The same inevitably happened on Sunday. I was singing at the wedding of two dear friends at church. I was excited and honored to be singing for them. The vast majority of the piece went really well. I had spent ample time warming up, I was confident, everything was really clear...I could sense good things were happening.
Then, heading into the last section, I kind of lost it. Now, the wheels didn't fall off the car, but they certainly skidded. I was able to find my way back, but it certainly didn't go unnoticed.
I knew I sang okay (by my limited standards....), but it still wasn't good enough for me. Now do I always know for sure what sounds good in my voice and what doesn't? Absolutely not. I even started apologizing to people for my performance, which is absolutely ridiculous now that I think about it.
Was I successful? Was it perfect? Or just good enough?
No, it wasn't perfect. But perfect and successful aren't the same thing. First of all, no one can be "perfect". Second, I would think that things that are perfect aren't always successful.I can't think of a good example right now, but give me time. It'll come.....
Success can be measured by how you impact those around you. The look on the bride's face that morning was all I needed to see to know that I was successful.
Though I imagine it will take an insane amount of mental power, I'm going to try and apply this to many areas in my life. As much as it may seem to "help" at the time, negativity feeds negative action, which leads to more self deprecation. Picture the Wile E. Coyote falling off a cliff and then getting flattened by an anvil, which then explodes. Not the desired result, obviously.
Here is my challenge to you: in everything you do today, find your successes. Acknowledge them, celebrate them, and then expand upon them. Keep growing, keep learning, and see how you are successful. Then, let me know how it goes!
It's what everyone wants but never seems to say they have. Why is that?
Let's take a closer look, shall we.
What defines success? {insert dictionary entry here}
Everywhere today we see images of success reminding us helpless common folk that we aren't doing well enough. A half-hour rerun provides enough well placed advertising to convince me that I am too fat, not pretty, don't have enough money, not liked, and that I will remain single the rest of my life just so I can hold out for that dashing fellow with wavy hair and perfect smile.
After every performance, I immediately re-examine every detail to determine if I was successful. Was I good? Did I miss a note....or ten? What was the audience thinking? Did I look okay? Are they judging me? On. and on. and on. The minute that I stop performing (regardless of the medium), I imagine a little switch in my brain going off and the wave of self deprecating thoughts begins.
The same inevitably happened on Sunday. I was singing at the wedding of two dear friends at church. I was excited and honored to be singing for them. The vast majority of the piece went really well. I had spent ample time warming up, I was confident, everything was really clear...I could sense good things were happening.
Then, heading into the last section, I kind of lost it. Now, the wheels didn't fall off the car, but they certainly skidded. I was able to find my way back, but it certainly didn't go unnoticed.
I knew I sang okay (by my limited standards....), but it still wasn't good enough for me. Now do I always know for sure what sounds good in my voice and what doesn't? Absolutely not. I even started apologizing to people for my performance, which is absolutely ridiculous now that I think about it.
Was I successful? Was it perfect? Or just good enough?
No, it wasn't perfect. But perfect and successful aren't the same thing. First of all, no one can be "perfect". Second, I would think that things that are perfect aren't always successful.I can't think of a good example right now, but give me time. It'll come.....
Success can be measured by how you impact those around you. The look on the bride's face that morning was all I needed to see to know that I was successful.
Though I imagine it will take an insane amount of mental power, I'm going to try and apply this to many areas in my life. As much as it may seem to "help" at the time, negativity feeds negative action, which leads to more self deprecation. Picture the Wile E. Coyote falling off a cliff and then getting flattened by an anvil, which then explodes. Not the desired result, obviously.
Here is my challenge to you: in everything you do today, find your successes. Acknowledge them, celebrate them, and then expand upon them. Keep growing, keep learning, and see how you are successful. Then, let me know how it goes!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Welcome summer!!
I know what you're thinking. Lauren, it's been a month since you've last posted? Have you thrown in the towel?
Nope. On the contrary, I've been having a rather ravishing time.
Current event of the evening? I just watched the Phillies roll into the 13th inning with a 4-4 tie against the Reds.
Watch out. It's getting intense.
Classes ended a little over a month ago and finals and things were completely finished a couple of weeks ago. Insert time. And more time. And more time. What do I do with this? I've forgotten!!!
(Seriously, this game is getting ridiculous. Some guy on the Reds just took out his anger on an unsuspecting cooler of Gatorade. Hope no one was thirsty.....)
With the end of classes comes that most joyous season of summer. No classes, no homework, no tests, and... no choir rehearsal. (Did I just say that?) It is certainly strange getting used to a schedule where I may only have 5 different things to do in one day as opposed to 5000. 'Superhuman Lauren' has been sent away on vacation for the next few months!
And don't think that I've been merely watching the grass grow (and grow and grow and grow). In fact, I'm in the middle of my first paying theater job! I'm the pianist for a production of Cabaret. I'm really loving my time with the cast! Tell you what, my attitude today is a lot different than a few months ago. I was terrified. Mailman getting chased by Fido, down a volcano, while erupting, terrified. I was so worried that I wasn't going to be able to play, able to lead a pit band, that the cast wasn't going to like me, that I was going to screw up so bad it'll bring a new meaning to the term 'mittens'.....on and on. In fact, though it was a bumpy transition for the first few days, I think everything is going along well! It's also been interesting just watching rehearsals from a different perspective. I'm certainly learning a lot!
Other than Cabaret, I've been practicing, exercising, playing, laughing, reading, watching, and all around having a great time! This is what summer is for, isn't it?
My plans for the summer are really up in the air. I wasn't able to find a softball league to join =( That made me a tad sad. I'm definitely planning some NH trips which will be awesome. I do plan on going on more auditions, so I'll keep you posted on that!
My newest wacky idea: skydiving! Not kidding. Yes, I think I'd eventually have to be literally pushed out of the plane, but I think it would be absolutely amazing....and totally representative of my attitude the last few months!
Running wise, I've made huge strides! I found this amazing trail near my apartment. The first time I headed out, I power walked out 3.5 miles or so and then ran/walked every other half mile on the way back. It took me about 2 1/2 hours to do the whole thing. Then, the second time, I ran/walked every half mile both ways. Only 1 1/2 hours! I cut my time by an hour AND decreased my mile time significantly!!! It feels so awesome to feel so free! (Plus, the endorphins aren't so bad either!) Due to the recent week long rain shower, I've been spending more time using cardio videos instead of running. Let me tell you: Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred, level 1. Not for the weak. My calves will punish me tomorrow....
15th inning. Nothing yet. Phils better get it on soon!
Good night!!!
Much love,
Lauren
PS. Message me if you want to come see the show! The first 3 weeks of June!
PSS. Cabaret is not for kids. Duh.
Nope. On the contrary, I've been having a rather ravishing time.
Current event of the evening? I just watched the Phillies roll into the 13th inning with a 4-4 tie against the Reds.
Watch out. It's getting intense.
Classes ended a little over a month ago and finals and things were completely finished a couple of weeks ago. Insert time. And more time. And more time. What do I do with this? I've forgotten!!!
(Seriously, this game is getting ridiculous. Some guy on the Reds just took out his anger on an unsuspecting cooler of Gatorade. Hope no one was thirsty.....)
With the end of classes comes that most joyous season of summer. No classes, no homework, no tests, and... no choir rehearsal. (Did I just say that?) It is certainly strange getting used to a schedule where I may only have 5 different things to do in one day as opposed to 5000. 'Superhuman Lauren' has been sent away on vacation for the next few months!
And don't think that I've been merely watching the grass grow (and grow and grow and grow). In fact, I'm in the middle of my first paying theater job! I'm the pianist for a production of Cabaret. I'm really loving my time with the cast! Tell you what, my attitude today is a lot different than a few months ago. I was terrified. Mailman getting chased by Fido, down a volcano, while erupting, terrified. I was so worried that I wasn't going to be able to play, able to lead a pit band, that the cast wasn't going to like me, that I was going to screw up so bad it'll bring a new meaning to the term 'mittens'.....on and on. In fact, though it was a bumpy transition for the first few days, I think everything is going along well! It's also been interesting just watching rehearsals from a different perspective. I'm certainly learning a lot!
Other than Cabaret, I've been practicing, exercising, playing, laughing, reading, watching, and all around having a great time! This is what summer is for, isn't it?
My plans for the summer are really up in the air. I wasn't able to find a softball league to join =( That made me a tad sad. I'm definitely planning some NH trips which will be awesome. I do plan on going on more auditions, so I'll keep you posted on that!
My newest wacky idea: skydiving! Not kidding. Yes, I think I'd eventually have to be literally pushed out of the plane, but I think it would be absolutely amazing....and totally representative of my attitude the last few months!
Running wise, I've made huge strides! I found this amazing trail near my apartment. The first time I headed out, I power walked out 3.5 miles or so and then ran/walked every other half mile on the way back. It took me about 2 1/2 hours to do the whole thing. Then, the second time, I ran/walked every half mile both ways. Only 1 1/2 hours! I cut my time by an hour AND decreased my mile time significantly!!! It feels so awesome to feel so free! (Plus, the endorphins aren't so bad either!) Due to the recent week long rain shower, I've been spending more time using cardio videos instead of running. Let me tell you: Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred, level 1. Not for the weak. My calves will punish me tomorrow....
15th inning. Nothing yet. Phils better get it on soon!
Good night!!!
Much love,
Lauren
PS. Message me if you want to come see the show! The first 3 weeks of June!
PSS. Cabaret is not for kids. Duh.
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